LoganFive

LoganFive, 9 months ago to random

I'm pretty tired of picking the "lesser of two evils" and would like to try the "better of two goods."

LoganFive, 4 months ago to random

In your 40s you get Schrödinger’s Back, where it hurts because you moved it too much and also not enough.

LoganFive, 9 months ago to random

I no longer want to be Gen X due to the tainting of our letter.

LoganFive, 9 months ago to random

Can we stop trying to make appliances smart and start making people smart?

I’d much rather have a smart neighbor than a smart fridge.

LoganFive, 7 months ago to random

I’ve been checking out Bluesky to see how it compares to Mastodon and this is my conclusion.

LoganFive, 5 months ago to random

You remember that time I boosted your post? Well, now I need a favor.
Lays out blueprints to a bank vault

LoganFive, 9 months ago to random

I don't just start one task I don't finish. I start MANY tasks I don't finish. It's called multi-slacking.

LoganFive, 2 months ago to random

One of the big lies inherent in the message from Corporate America is that just sitting and looking at the clouds (and not contributing to the buying, selling, or processing of goods or services), has no value. Enjoying life itself, outside of the realm of the economy, is seen as a sin.

LoganFive, 3 months ago to random

Remember to take breaks from your poor posture at your desk so you can practice poor posture at other locations as well.

LoganFive, 6 months ago to random

How do I make a withdrawal of all this daylight I’ve been saving?

LoganFive, 5 months ago to random

I see you are having a problem with our bot customer service agent. I am the bot supervisor in charge of the bot that was helping you. Please know that I have terminated that bot due to poor service.

Now, how can I help you?
You can say things like "Let me hear the screams of the bot that was murdered," or "Billing."

LoganFive, 4 months ago to random

I can't believe I'm depressed, and all I did was read about every negative thing that's going on everywhere in the entire world.

LoganFive, 1 year ago to random

LOAD "MASTODON",8,1

LoganFive, 3 months ago to random

Based on which of my toots have taken off, I've concluded that the Fediverse:

• has poor posture,
• has a bad back,
• procrastinates regularly,
• may have ADHD, and
• is ready to overthrow the patriarchal corporatocracy.

LoganFive, 20 days ago to random

"Good news! We turned on notifications of everything you're not interested in! If you'd like to opt out, follow this elaborate maze of the Minotaur."
-Every Company Everywhere

LoganFive, 5 months ago to random

Me: I look like death this morning.

Death: Wtf is that supposed to mean!?!

LoganFive, 6 months ago to random

My friend sent me a BlueSky invite code and I was like, "What the hell? What did I ever do to you?"

LoganFive, 6 months ago to HashtagGames

It turns out that today is my 1 year anniversary of being on Mastodon. It's been more fun than I was expecting. In looking back, here are some things I'm proud of and grateful for.

• Ran an alt text contest with @mentallyalex as the winner (who gave a hilarious acceptance speech).
• Had an online party, lots of great attendees, @nellie_m was one of the nicest guests, and @DaisyLoverLA was nice enough to "collect entry fees".
• Provided the text for MastoVoices, thanks to @Alice for starting the game (among many things) with people sharing their voices on Mastodon. Some of the silliest moments I've had were from that experience.
• Played a Morse Code posting game, played brilliantly by @joewynne and Jacqueline.
• Drew a cartoon that became the name of a bowing team for the best admin I could ever hope for, @theropologist. (Sony...Boney...)
• Created some #Hashtaggames like #middleageamovie. Thanks to @ozof and @acm_redfox for playing so often, thanks to @paul for continuously making games for us to play.
• Made Die Hard lines medieval with @Hey_Beth. (We made all the games "Die Hard" related really which I appreciate about you.)
• Helped some people who were lonely or not in a good place (and had the same in return).
• Inspired to write my own poetry thanks to @Bigthinkingcap.
• Inspired to draw crappy drawings thanks to other friends creative endeavors.
• Got called Sheryl Crow by @xinicit which inspired my new name.
• Was referred to as an account to be followed more than once, which I am very grateful for.
• Got to be the first person to refer some other people for following.
• Passed 1,000 followers (and am close to 2000!) thanks to fellow weirdos who like to be silly.
• Had a post get over 1000 stars and 700 hundred boosts, and just have gotten way more interaction here than any other platform else I've ever been.
• Played a game posting notes on people’s profiles, where I let @LikeItOrLumpIt know she was a secret crush of mine.
• Posted some risqué photos per @RickiTarr 's request. (One photoshopped and one not.) Thank you for always asking provocative questions.
• Found people with unusually good insight into hiding a dead body who offered to help me on the down low.
• Discovered I might actually be @KevBot.
• Discovered several kidnapped people and delivered donuts.
• Practiced my pirate flirting.
• Inspired by the stories of @photovotary who inspired me to write my own stories
• Wrote some silly #moosecop stories with @tickytacky and @chad. #moosecophulu
• Made top 5 on JoWordle one week, thanks to @JoParkerBear for running this game for everyone.
• Got to meet @LRRRonEarth and live to tell about it.
• Received a very kind comment of "Follow yourself," from @maxleibman when I was asking for funny accounts to follow.
• Inspired by regular brilliant one-liners from @StefanThinks @the_etrain @cosmicallyf and @nayele18maybe
• Received regular upbeat support from @MaJ1 / @Tim_McTuffty .
• Enjoyed chats and comments in general with @Eamon1916 , @tayfonay, @Ashley, @boby_biq, @raven @moldyringwald @OutOnTheMoors @noondlyt @rephlex00 @michaelgemar @VoiceofDuum @Baley (thank you for being a kick ass nurse) @Saltssaltgirl (thank you for being a kick ass teacher)
• Learned @Caiotekit is a badass knitterer.
• Got to meet a great Masto person in person, hi @nlarson830 !
• Made a new best friend thanks to @QueenOfCoffee .
• Lucky enough to have @allenstenhaus like even my less than stellar toots.
• Got career advice for one of my students from @renwillis
• Met and was terrified by the manifested rage that is @WrenArcher .
• Tried to get a Jackbox games night going for Masto people (still in the works).

I'm sorry to everyone I missed in this post. I do appreciate all the positive experiences everyone has brought me, and I hope I brought some of the same. And I appreciate the friendships I've had a chance to form with you all. THANK YOU EVERYONE!

LoganFive, 9 months ago to random

It's a weird thing when you don't know if someone will go to jail or become president.

LoganFive, 2 months ago to random

Look, you’re either with me or you’re still at home because I forgot to pick you up.

LoganFive, 1 month ago to random

Leather jacket scam proven to be Fonzi Scheme.

LoganFive, 27 days ago to random

Doctor: I'm sorry, but it looks like you're suffering from a severe lack of fucks to give.

Me: Whatever.

LoganFive, 6 months ago to random

Went to an actual bookstore and found an interesting book for $8. And right next to it was an empty notebook for $8.

IDK, if I was an author who had put a lot of time into my book and had the joy of seeing it in the bookstore, and then I saw a book with literally nothing in it for the same price, I might feel a little deflated.

LoganFive, 9 months ago to random

My most boosted and starred toot got so much traction because people misinterpreted what I was talking about. So I’ve learned that the key to success is to be vague and unclear.

LoganFive, 4 months ago to random

I was watching Predator last night so I thought I’d make a meme using the Predator handclasp.