The thing is about Australian wildlife is that most Aussie animals won’t back down from a fight, but most of them don’t go looking for a fight either.
If you’re worried about visiting Australia because of our deadly fauna, here’s a hint. If you see an Australian animal, walk away from it.
A kangaroo has trouble disemboweling a retreating person because its attack involves rocking back on its tail and kicking you with both feet. It’s not really able to do any damage on something that’s moving away.
Magpies will generally let you know where their territory is, and if you stay out of it while they’re nesting, they won’t knock a hole in your head.
You literally have to get in the water to be bothered by sharks or crocodiles. Swim where the locals swim.
Snakes and spiders are about the only thing that you might happen upon by surprise and they tend to be happy to let you leave, but will happily fuck you up in self defence.
Y’see, Aussie wildlife mostly kills idiots who approach it, try to pat it, or catch it. Our animals mostly kill and maim stupid people.
I guess, my point is, we don’t have anything like lions or bears that will chase you down, pull you out of your car and tear you to pieces.
Also, the chances of being shot in this country is almost non existent.
Australia’s a pretty safe place to visit, comparatively.
@till@DavidM_yeg@accretionist
It would be a very long post if I listed everything. I didn’t mention the venomous platypus or invisible stone fish, or wait-a-while.
@accretionist@till@DavidM_yeg@Tooden
There’s not much point in mentioning this apart from the general rule of not approaching, trying to pat, or catch, the local wildlife.
Particularly pointless mentioning this little bundle of cuteness as if it decides to bite you, you’re unlikely to leave the beach, let alone make it to medical care. 😂
@dgar when my friends and I were in the Hunter Valley eons ago one saw a kangaroo and wanted to go over to pet it and the BnB manager was like, “Mate, it’ll split your ribcage in two with its paws.”
"A magpie may rarely attack by landing on the ground in front of a person and lurching up and landing on the victim's chest and pecking at the face and eyes."
@enricov
It’s surprisingly safe here. In fact, before the eighties, we’d even leave babies just about anywhere because it is just that safe. We don’t anymore, because, y’know, dingoes, but yeah. Pretty safe.
@dgar I think the friendly people make up for all the dangerous animals. We had a great time when we visited, and we were included everywhere. Even me, despite being a somewhat introverted Swede.
@dgar this is a complaint from the Lion PR department.
Hippos kill more humans than lions and they aren't as cuddly.
🤣
The other reassuring story out of Africa is that ostriches can also disembowel you. But running away doesn't help. They run too fast and use one foot so you need to lie down and then all the bird can do is jump on you. Reassuring as I said.
@ThePiper@dgar I'll chime in from the bear PR department: only brown bears (grizzlies, etc) are particularly dangerous. Black bears are more like said Aussie fauna; leave them alone and you'll be good.
I'm curious now.
When I visited my uncle on Zanzibar, we had two important survival rules:
If a door opens away from you, open it carefully and before (not while) you are going through. If you don't, there is a (small) chance of waking a venomous snake by dropping it on your head.
Before putting your shoes on, put it upside down and shake it, so if a venomous spider has mistaken it for a burrow, it will fall out instead of biting your toe.
@Christo
I mentioned snakes and spiders. I lived in Cairns while in High School. I don’t remember too much trouble with snakes. They tend to avoid people and most people can easily outrun a snake. Flash floods and landslides were the biggest dangers I remember from Cairns. Cassowaries live around those parts too, and they are scary.
@dgar That's true. Mountain lions have even been known to pick a target, like somebody who runs every day, learn their habits and route and choose an appropriate spot to attack. Bears are bad too because they're not like most predators. A mountain lion or a wolf or something will kill you "then" eat you. A grizzly bear though will just straight up pin you down and eat you alive.
We joke about Australia, but every country has some messed up animals if you pay attention.
I have heard of tree wetas leaping onto people, causing them to soil themselves, but they're not directly dangerous to humans.
Granted, that changes when you factor in second-order effects, that is, damage incurred due to any leaping, whirling and screaming in fright. Especially if you were (past tense) in control of heavy machinery at the time. They may be harmless, but they do look terrifying. @gerowen
@Soupy51@KatS
As a kid in the bush we had a few adopted joeys. I particularly remember two eastern grey bucks and a pretty-faced wallaby doe that grew up to be basically tame. One of them had a taste for beer and would take any unguarded stubbie at any opportunity. He’d get drunk and sleep for hours. We didn’t deliberately feed him beer and tried to keep it from him, but during outdoor barbecue parties into the night in the Australian bush, sometimes it happened.
A while back, somebody solved the mystery of crop-circles in Tasmania when they spotted an unconscious wallaby beside one.
See, there are poppy plantations down there, to supply the hospital painkiller industry. Plants don't understand fences, so the roads are lined with medical-grade poppies.
Fences don't slow wallabies down much, either.
Turns out some of them were getting into the poppy paddocks, filling their bellies with these delicious flowers, getting monged out of their tiny little brains, then hopping around in a circle for hours until they passed out.
Eventually they'd wake up and bugger off, leaving a ring-shaped WTF for humans to puzzle over. @dgar
@dgar I once had a different aussie tell me that the real worry with Australian aminals isn't "they'll kill you", it's the property damage they can cause, and how it's usually the "harmless to human" creachers doing the property damage.
Never checked if true and I live pretty far away from Australia, so...
@VinesNFluff
Termites. Mud Wasps. Introduced species like Rabbits and Cane Toads. We officially went to war with the Emus on behalf of frustrated farmers.
expert on the abc radio once was talking about the folly of Australians building in a termite zone
interviewer: where are the worst areas?
expert: the whole country
@dgar agree up to swim where the locals swim. Marine jellyfish send people to hospital every week over the warmer months. Locals may think it will never happen to them, until it does. Definitely do not want to be playing chance with the invisible stingy jellyfish (some of which can and do get into the “protected swimming nets”)
@dgar@Steve I was in Cairns a few years back and the guy talking about the saltwater crocodiles said it's usually the locals that get eaten because they get complacent.
@dgar@ariaflame yeah I’d never swim up near cairns, so many stories of dogs getting taken. Their little lagoon right on the coast in town is a very, very good substitute. Much better than the beach, no bitey things, no stingy things.. 😄
@dgar@Steve@ariaflame even though this post started like "don't bother them, they won't bother you" this whole thread has put me off Australia. I don't want to look at a beautiful, empty beach and say, "we won't go there, anybody who has has gotten eaten. Let's find a place to swim where we can crowd up against strangers, less chance of getting picked off".
@Urban_Hermit@dgar@ariaflame ha ha, sorry but gotta laugh. The same has gotta be said for other countries yeah. Bears, Coyotes, Tigers, Elephants, Snakes, Mosquitoes, Seals, Sharks.
No matter where you go, there’s an element of danger. It’s more about knowing the risk, and knowing what to look out for.
@Urban_Hermit@ariaflame@Steve
Also, Australian population density averages at around one person per square kilometre. Few places are actually “that” crowded.
@dgar I notice you didn't mention drop bears, or blue ring octopus, pretty suspicious if you ask me.
The spiders bit is totally true though, odds are if it's too big to ignore it's a huntsman, they're big goofy cheetahs that are only dangerous to anything smaller than they are, you can just let them out into the bushes or ignore them and let them kill stuff for you.
@maxthyme The list is long. I didn’t mention stonefish or platypus either, but stay out of the water, don’t attempt to pat, or catch, and you’re usually golden.
@dgar Fricking egg laying milk sweating electrosensing mammal-adjacent critters shouldn't be venomous on top of everything, ok, it's just weird, like someone random rolled every aspect of a character and ran with it.
@dgar@Sir_Osis_of_Liver I had not heard of this one before. The first sentence in Wikipedia, "...commonly known in Australia as the suicide plant.." did not disappoint. That honestly makes Texas sound safe.
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