@kalikiana@mastodon.social
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

kalikiana

@kalikiana@mastodon.social

passionate about free software
#openQA scrum mistress
#neurospicy enby girl 🏳️‍⚧
parent of the Amazing Aladin Pyewacket and Samuel "Crunchy" Crunchberg

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Impossible_PhD, to trans
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

Coming out is hard, and coming out as trans is even harder. As trans folks, we have to do it in a way pretty much nobody else ever does.

This week on , we're looking at the rhetoric of How To Come Out Anywhere, so you can feel a little more confident when you invite the people you love into a deeper relationship with you.

https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/how-to-come-out-anywhere

kalikiana,
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

@Impossible_PhD My smiles reach my eyes now ❤️ 😻 Lovely article

LehtoriTuomo, to actuallyautistic
@LehtoriTuomo@mementomori.social avatar

One reason why it took me so long to self-diagnose autism is that I thought I don't stim. In fact, once I learned that I do stim, my self-diagnosis process kicked in. That was the first time I said to myself that I might actually be autistic.

The reason for this misunderstanding was that I thought stimming is stereotypical, very repetitive, compulsory movement. I guess this misunderstanding is quite common.

I've since learned that stimming, short for self-stimulatory behavior, is basically stimulating one's sensory system in certain ways. It may be a way to soothe oneself, help to focus in overwhelming situations by feeding one's brain predictable sensory input, a way to express joy, or simply something that feels nice. Movements are part of it but any sense can be used.

When googling the term, there are mentions that also neurotypicals stim but that when diagnosing autism, stimming is somehow different -- only socially unacceptable stims are "real" stims. Bah.

I've started paying attention to how and when I stim, and collect a list of stims I do. I've noticed all types of stimming behavior (soothing, focusing, joy, fun). I do it more than before -- or maybe I just notice it more often. I've noticed that I love moving my body parts, especially to music. I also love different textures.

@actuallyautistic

kalikiana,
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

@LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic Did you stim before you became aware of it?

Chair rocking and leg wiggling were one of the earliest I remember. Not that anyone would've thought to diagnose me then. Staring out the window and caricaturing teachers was not enough then.

I got really good at invisible stims. Using music, leaning against things, pressing my nails into my skin.

It would take years until I thought of any of these as stims 😹

kalikiana,
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

@pathfinder @LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic Yes! If it weren't for someone mentioning it I would never have paid attention to the fact that I do these.

Techaltar, to random
@Techaltar@mas.to avatar

This is the state of "normal" looking smart glasses, hehe.

Just got the RayNeo X2 TCL sent me so I can demo how waveguide optics work ... 1.5 months late :D

kalikiana,
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

@Techaltar I might suggest a CW for eye contact for this one.

kalikiana,
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

@Techaltar Content Warning. For some people it can be uncomfortable to look in a person's eyes and by default Mastodon asks for confirmation to show such toots.

kalikiana, to animals
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

Samuel ran out of battery after chasing a hell of a lot of flies

BeAware, to ADHD
@BeAware@social.beaware.live avatar

Dammit. ADHDinos always tells it like it is.😬

@adhd

kalikiana,
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

@BeAware @adhd What is liquid stress? :pika:

kalikiana,
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

@BeAware Interesting! I don't feel stressed very often. My version of the dino would probably pour me "liquid exuberance"? Eventually it becomes impossible for me to pace myself. Patience is out the window. It's like an emotional overload.

kalikiana, to animals
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

Sleepy kitten getting some much needed rest so he can attack me when I lay down

danirabbit, to random
@danirabbit@mastodon.online avatar

In case you needed some extremely horny hyper pop today I just found out about Pinkii

kalikiana,
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

@danirabbit Why the hell not 😹

kalikiana,
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

@danirabbit Pro tip: add it to your liked songs which you will put on shuffle next time you have friends over

kalikiana, to animals
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

When all you want is drink in piece and somebody just won't let you...

Tabby cat with front paws on the sink and hind paws on the bath tub, drinking water from the sink, getting interrupted by a smaller cat which grabs for one of the hind paws.

BeAware, to ADHD
@BeAware@social.beaware.live avatar

The Lemmy ADHD community seems to consist of a TON of ADHD deniers....🤦‍♂️

Sure there's a lot that support the disorder, but since I started following the community, I'm almost positive I've seen more deniers than supporters.

Mastodon continues to be a consistently better place and more tolerating of certain topics than Lemmy...😬

kalikiana,
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

@BeAware This? https://join-lemmy.org/

I hadn't heard of it. If Lemmy is an aggregator for the fediverse, how can it be worse than Mastodon? Any idea how it works?

btaroli, to ADHD
@btaroli@federate.social avatar

One thing I notice about being sick or exhausted, say after a night of poor sleep, is that my anxiety level trying to usher son through his getting ready is far less. I just don’t have the energy to get to that place. A place I didn’t really want to be.

Is there a way to avoid getting to that anxious place when I have the energy, I wonder… 🤔

#ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #AuDHD #ParentingWhileAutistic @actuallyautistic

kalikiana,
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

@btaroli @actuallyautistic There is research supporting that sleep deprivation has the same effect as antidepressants.

As for how to get that energy I don't know that it can be generalized. Speaking from my own experience 30 minutes make for an awesome nap and 3 and a half hours make for a great longer sleep interval. I also have days where I sleep 7 hours which is double that. There's a pattern there.

kalikiana, to random
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

Experiencing the colors of is wild at times. Marveling at the visuals of a song that is playing can be so intense it's distracting me from what I was doing. Do you ever get used to being engulfed in purple winds and dodging lightning bolts produced by your own emotions?

Sometimes is less exciting. Like when you're picking a spelling for the name of the kitten so the color of the name is closer to its coat 😹

tantramar, (edited ) to animals
@tantramar@nojack.easydns.ca avatar

so if one were contemplating acquiring a feline, should it be…

kalikiana,
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

@tantramar I don't comprehend how people can prefer cats with a particular coat. The answer I would chose is: All cats are awesome. 😹

masukomi, to random
@masukomi@connectified.com avatar

PSA:
“if it was important, you would have remembered it.” And “if you cared, you would have remembered.“

Neither of these claims have any basis in reality. Importance, and caring have no correlation to whether a memory is formed.

These sentences only serve to gaslight people about a chemical, process that they cannot control.

Please spread this knowledge.

Please stop gaslighting people with memory issues.

kalikiana,
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

@masukomi @Sparky My assumption is that I remember what I pay attention to. I pay attention to things that match my energy levels. For example a person speaking at a certain pace will have my attention. What I do factors into that as well, like moving about or doing another thing at the same time.
It's pretty much irrelevant to me how important the topic or the person is.

kalikiana,
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

@masukomi @Sparky I don't know what those studies say about most people. Maybe you can elaborate on the difference?

In my experience in day to day life there is a clear distinction between not processing something and forgetting. I don't forget much. If I learned something but got distracted, which is common, the memory will still come back to me.

kalikiana,
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

@masukomi @Sparky Maybe I can't phrase it well. I feel like you're saying the exact same thing I said, or thought I said.

I can look at someone or listen to what someone says without being able to process anything whatsoever. And it's not an arbitrary choice for me.

kalikiana,
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

@masukomi @Sparky Anyway I just wanted to say from my perspective how I experience it. Because people can say the same thing about me. I might explain it differently. In the end it doesn't matter because people who say "You don't care" don't want an explanation. They just assume I am being ignorant, on purpose or not, it makes no difference to them. We probably agree on that.

Sparky, to random

Is it considered lying if I misremember stuff and tell them in the way I remember them?
For context I have disorders that weaken my memories.

kalikiana,
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

@Sparky I would only consider it a lie if it's intentional. There is no point in accusing someone who doesn't realize the discrepancy.

I have been confused in the past because people would say I make stuff up for the opposite reason. Apparently my memory is too accurate at times.

It helps to keep in mind that we all work a little differently.

kalikiana, to animals
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

Aladin is the main attraction in the train right now. People come up and ask "Hey is that a cat" 😻 Even the conductor stopped by. Trips are always annoying but people are nice and even let us board first

kalikiana, to random
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

Learning how to use a AeroPress at CoffeeNerds

kalikiana, to animals
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

Das kriegt man Huhnger!

Lucky Lou. Makes you pungry for more. And apparently it's also yummy.

Side of a can saying "grain free", "no added sugar" and "Da kriegt man Huhnger"

kalikiana,
@kalikiana@mastodon.social avatar

@nuncio Not quite. Mainstream brands like Whiskas add sugar, grains and flavor agents designed to make them addictive. It's like letting your cat eat at maccas.

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