mikemathia, to random
@mikemathia@ioc.exchange avatar
futurebird, to random
@futurebird@sauropods.win avatar

What do you call a newly emerged queen ant?

A debutANTe!

(you can't blame me for this pun seaborn9000 told it to me)

msh,
@msh@coales.co avatar

@futurebird there's a bug in your #DadJoke I'm gonna file a report

salcode, to random
@salcode@phpc.social avatar

We watched half of the 1989 Michael Keaton Batman with our boys the other night.

Last night I asked, what do you want to watch tonight?

My son: Finish Batman?

Me: I'd rather watch the American version.

designatednerd, to Eurovision
@designatednerd@mastodon.social avatar

The crocheted white balaclavas on the Croatian band are the perfect kind of weird costumes for this song #Eurovision

ochaos,
@ochaos@techhub.social avatar

@designatednerd I know he's obviously an Adult Lasagna. #DadJoke

thomas, to Metal German
@thomas@metalhead.club avatar

Ja toll. Hab jetzt wegen @aendi einen Ohrwurm von Kanonenfieber - Havarie

https://noisebringer-records.bandcamp.com/album/u-bootsmann

SteVanDee,
@SteVanDee@metalhead.club avatar

@thomas
Ich sehe da nix schlechtes dran. Kanonenfieber-Ohrwürmer sind eine (ein)gängige Sache (#Dadjoke)
@aendi

midacre, to dadjokes
@midacre@mas.to avatar

I always wondered why we needed Geiger counters.

Then it clicked.

#dadjokes #dadjoke #radiation

CWilbur,
@CWilbur@sfba.social avatar

@midacre I always wondered where the sun went.

Then it..... oh, never mind.

almost a

c0dec0dec0de, to random
@c0dec0dec0de@hachyderm.io avatar

Doing yard work with kiddo yesterday, he hopped into the wheelbarrow. So, obviously, it becomes a joke and not just a ride.
“Welcome to Wheelbarrow Airlines, where we have a better safety record than Boeing.”

c0dec0dec0de,
@c0dec0dec0de@hachyderm.io avatar

He asks, “Where are we going?”
“I’m glad you asked, but Wheelbarrow Airlines employees are strictly prohibited from discussing the location or itineraries of customers with anyone, including customers.”

c0dec0dec0de,
@c0dec0dec0de@hachyderm.io avatar

“Keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times. Wheelbarrow Airlines is not liable for any injuries by passengers who exit the vehicle while in motion. Note that the captain has put the seatbelt light.”
Him: “But there’s no seat belt!”
“Wheelbarrow Airlines is not legally required to supply seat belts.”

evelynefoerster, to dadjokes
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar

#dadjokes
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar

@1dalm
Sounds like you're locked in a vault of nostalgia! Maybe it's time to ring up some new memories!
#dadjoke

ParadeGrotesque, to random
@ParadeGrotesque@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

Saved .docx document from Google Docs = 2.3MB

Reformatted the document under Libre Office, saved .docx = 8.3KB

Something is really wrong here... 🤔

7heo,
@7heo@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

@ParadeGrotesque @botvolution please do 🙏 I'm really curious. A document made mostly of meta information sounds a bit suspicious to me. But so does such a size reduction...

Plus, I'm pretty sure this would be Google-Information rather than Meta-information... #badpun #dadjoke

ordrad, to random
@ordrad@lor.sh avatar

The worst dad joke ever told was the Pompeian who said "God bless you" when Mt Vesuvius erupted.

#dadjoke

linuxgal, to lotr
@linuxgal@techhub.social avatar
msh,
@msh@coales.co avatar

@linuxgal precioussssss #DadJoke

slickshoes38, to random

dadjokes

ai6yr,

@tiamat271 @slickshoes38 @deirdre.assenza #dadjoke

qurlyjoe, to dadjokes
@qurlyjoe@mstdn.social avatar

#DadJokes #Dadjoke
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose.

Aknorals, to random
@Aknorals@mastodon.social avatar

If a Japanese ogre makes a rice ball, is it called an onigiri?

👹🍙

#dadjoke

bjb, to random
@bjb@fosstodon.org avatar

What happens when you push the envelope?

Nothing, it's stationary.

GriffinGroup, to puns
@GriffinGroup@mstdn.social avatar

My wife told our son not to play with electricity...

Now he’s grounded.

#Puns #DadJokes

TimPhon,
@TimPhon@lingo.lol avatar

@ramonfincken @GriffinGroup @dgar
I feel obliged to extend the circuit and share this one with other #DadJoke superconductors.

WhombeX, to random
@WhombeX@bne.social avatar

…maybe get one of the Sergeants or Privates to fix it? #DadJoke

stylinstainless, to random
@stylinstainless@mastodon.online avatar

Physicist Peter Higgs has died.

A mass will be held in his honour.

#DadJoke

mjgardner, to random
@mjgardner@social.sdf.org avatar

It must be hard for a set theorist to stay classy when they’re so excited they cannot contain themselves

#mathstodon #DadJoke

mike, to random
@mike@thecanadian.social avatar

What month has 28 days in it?

All of them.

#DadJoke

bjb, to random
@bjb@fosstodon.org avatar

The swordfish has no natural enemies to fear...

...Except the penfish which is even mightier.

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