MOULE, to mastodon
stina_marie, to Meme
@stina_marie@horrorhub.club avatar
rjbs, to random
@rjbs@social.semiotic.systems avatar

“At IHOP we take our guests’ account security seriously and have decided to update our settings to enhance data security."

The world is weird.

mjgardner,
@mjgardner@social.sdf.org avatar

@rjbs + pun = fluffy comedy gold 🥞

GlenDownton, to random
@GlenDownton@mastodon.au avatar

I don't know why I still insist on paying with cash, but it's not fear of change.

bjb, to random
@bjb@fosstodon.org avatar

I was watching Australian Master Chef last night.

A contestant made a meringue and everybody cheered.

I thought that's odd, normally in Australia they boo meringue.

lydiaconwell, to random

Can we all just start a hashtag to be used whenever someone posts a ?

alan, (edited ) to random

duck A to duck B:
waddle you do for lunch?

I'll be here all week, folks.

GlenDownton, to random
@GlenDownton@mastodon.au avatar

At school I really didn't get along with my science teacher.

There was no chemistry.

Brhodes, to animals
funhouseradio, to coffee
@funhouseradio@mastodon.world avatar
mikemathia, to random
@mikemathia@ioc.exchange avatar

@ChrisPirillo will appreciate this more than average.

ilmai, to gamedev
@ilmai@hachyderm.io avatar

I want to make a game called Nuts and Bolts about robot squirrels

knuppelbeer, to random Dutch
@knuppelbeer@mastodon.social avatar

sinusitis natuurlijk

jerry, to random

Dammit. Ashoka better get a second season

jonoabroad,
@jonoabroad@mastodon.nz avatar

@jerry @breadandwater how about when not stoned?

I'll let myself out.

Dadlyambitions, to Meme
@Dadlyambitions@mastodon.social avatar

Theres no point when using a broken pencil

Brhodes, to animals
JaniceSelbie, to random

Today’s

Dadlyambitions, to Meme
@Dadlyambitions@mastodon.social avatar

A ghost with poor eyesight probably needs their spooktacles

RickiTarr, (edited ) to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Alright Y'all, I'm ready to see your lovely faces again, and I know @Mary625 is too! So, post a selfie, or if you're feeling shy, a photo you took recently you really like.

mike,
@mike@thecanadian.social avatar

@Hey_Beth @RickiTarr @Mary625 Post pictures.

By the way, did you hear about the new pirate movie?

It's rated arrrrr...

davep, to random

I for one

ghostdancer,
@ghostdancer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

@davep You should get a nomination for the awards of the

ryanhoulihan, to random
@ryanhoulihan@mastodon.social avatar

This is just a reminder that windows are for opening. Especially in the fall. My main window was locked shut for a month and a half – until I could pay for a repair – and now it is wide open and my brain is 100% different thanks to all the shiny new air

RainbowWarrior,

@ryanhoulihan Windows is also for crashing (Microsoft Windows )

vwbusguy, to random
@vwbusguy@mastodon.online avatar

When a meeting goes long, the horrible dad puns will increase proportionally until everyone drops off the call. This is my superpower that I bring to my team.

sej7278,
@sej7278@fosstodon.org avatar
dgar, to random
@dgar@aus.social avatar

I phoned my wife and asked if she wanted me to pick up Fish and Chips on my way home, she just grunted at me.

I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.

dennisfaucher,

@dgar Quality

NeadReport, to random
@NeadReport@vivaldi.net avatar

Incoming

What's an inexpensive meat?

Deer balls. They're under a buck.

ArpComics, to Cat

It’s morning coffee & reading time, which means Rikki Tikki Tavi needs to purr on daddy’s lap.

The wrote a song about her: Deaf & 17.

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