qurlyjoe

qurlyjoe, 3 months ago to random

QAnon & MAGAts: There's an underground cabal of billionaires running the world.

Everybody else: There's an above ground cabal of billionaires running the world. Do your research!

qurlyjoe, 3 months ago to random

TFW you realize that Star Wars is the story of an orphaned boy who became radicalized after a military strike kills his family. He is indoctrinated into an ancient religion, joins a band of insurgents, and carries out a terrorist attack that kills 300,000 people.

qurlyjoe, 6 months ago to random

If God wanted us to have unlimited free energy He’d have put a giant fusion reactor in the sky.

qurlyjoe, 4 months ago to random

How long do you have to be ignorant before the bliss kicks in?

qurlyjoe, 3 months ago to random

Car parts you never hear about any more. Not in the US anyway.

Fender skirts Curb feelers Steering knobs Continental kits
Emergency brakes (now it’s a parking brake.) Foot feed. Dimmer switch (used to be on the floor.)
Running board

qurlyjoe, 9 months ago to random

Apparently, the Bible verses about a talking snake are literal, but the part about forgiving everyone's debt is just a metaphor.

qurlyjoe, 6 months ago to random

You know you’re old when you have ‘upstairs ibuprofen’ and ‘downstairs ibuprofen’.

qurlyjoe, 4 months ago to random

Stonehenge implies the existence of Paperhenge and Scissorshenge.

qurlyjoe, 4 months ago to random

Once you turn 21 you've unlocked all the age-restricted privileges you'll ever get. (In the US.) I think additional privileges should be added as you age. After 30 piracy is allowed. At 42 you get to shoplift. At 65 then drugs are legal, and after 80 you can murder – but only bad people.

qurlyjoe, 4 months ago to random

I'm here if you need moron support. It's like moral support, only stupid.

qurlyjoe, 2 months ago to random

I feel like we're living in the only universe where MTG is not a waitress at Waffle House.

qurlyjoe, 10 months ago to random

Can you guys just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

qurlyjoe, 5 months ago to random

Monopoly™️ is an old game

qurlyjoe, 3 months ago to random

Our reliance on telescopes that use mirrors leaves us vulnerable to invasion by space vampires.

qurlyjoe, 5 months ago to random

Jesus Appoints Mike Johnson as Moses

I can’t even think of anything snarky enough. https://boingboing.net/2023/12/06/jesus-appointed-me-house-speaker-and-moses-says-maga-mike-johnson-video.html

qurlyjoe, 6 months ago to random

I fully intend to haunt people when I die. I have a list.

qurlyjoe, 4 months ago (edited 4 months ago) to Hockey

Is #hockey #sportsball? It seems to be sort of topographically equivalent at least, to me, to all the sportsballs that use actual #balls. What does Fedi think? I bow to the collective wisdom of you all.

qurlyjoe, 3 months ago (edited 3 months ago) to random

A 10% annual tax on all assets over $1Billion, personal and corporate. They’d never notice. Would that be enough to provide free breakfast and lunch in schools for every child who needed* it? Would there be any left over? Enough to expand to any child who wanted it? Sure, it’s socialism, but it’s just the billionaires paying for it, so fuck them. They can afford it.

• Need metrics to be determined.
  1/n

qurlyjoe, 3 months ago to random

A picture of a lamp in my living room.

qurlyjoe, 9 months ago to random

We should have a national quiet day where everyone just shuts the fuck up for 24 hours.

qurlyjoe, 3 months ago to random

Some of you didn't grow up with bacon grease stored in a coffee can in the fridge, used for frying up eggs, onions and potatoes, and it shows.

qurlyjoe, 1 month ago to random

There was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

qurlyjoe, 20 days ago to random

Life would be much more fun if every time we sneezed we lifted a few feet off the ground and then came back down in slow motion.

qurlyjoe, 14 days ago to random

Ok, I admit to having had some cannabis with my leftover pizza tonight, but I’m not even high yet, and first thing I see in Apple News in Daily Beast is Tucker Carlson telling Joe Rogan that Alex Jones (what a fucking trifecta of high rolling assholery) is a fucking psychic prophet who predicted 9/11 (he didn’t). I’ll never be able to afford whatever Tucker’s smoking.

qurlyjoe, 2 months ago (edited 2 months ago) to random

It occurred to me that for various reasons the GPS network we rely on to find out way around these days could fail. If this were to happen, and depending on a lot of other factors, printed maps—on paper or other materials—could become quite valuable. To those who can read them, at least. Do you have any printed maps? Road map? Topo map?

When was the last time you used a printed map?