seanwithwords

Ilovechai, 1 day ago to actuallyaudhd

I don't have the spoons to explain why I feel my neurodivergence is making this worse, but I need feedback or insight from other ND people on a unique experience. This will be a long thread (added in replies) but I'm hopeful there will be a few kind readers who either relate or have something supportive to share.
Here goes:
1/
@actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd
#recoveringfromreligion
#LateDiagnosedAutism
#actuallyautistic #neurodivergent

pathfinder, 2 days ago to Autism

@actuallyautistic

I've just finished watching the first series of "A kind of spark" on BBC iPlayer. Although, this is not about this excellent show. Rather, it's about the struggle I had with watching it and why it took me two attempts to get through it.

The fact is, that found it quite triggering. Now I know it's about, and probably made for, teenagers and the struggles they go through at school and especially being autistic and at school. And even though school was a very long time ago for me and in another age of man. I still couldn't help comparing it to my own experiences and not just in school, but throughout my life, and how much similarity I could see. Not, in the details, obviously, but in the way I would constantly run afoul of people, or somehow be on their wrong side of someone, even before we'd properly met. The sheer pettiness of some of it and the hurt it so often caused me, as much by my not understanding it, as by the unfairness of it. Of how many toes I'd stood on, without meaning to, or even knowing I'd done it and how much of my life I'd actually spent bewildered and upset by the situations I would find myself in and the actions I couldn't understand of the people around me.

Of course, no-one, least of all myself, knew that I was autistic back then, because that would probably have made it much worse. But knowing I am autistic now, at least gives me an understanding of why some people might have reacted this way. How, in some ways, at least, I've never really behaved in the ways that others might find appropriate, to their position, or status, or sense of worth. How socially blundering my way through life, of necessity, includes many toes I could step on and people who could be offended.

But, of course, understanding this now, doesn't really ease the memories. Neither of the pain I did cause, without meaning to, or the pain I received. It doesn't make the life I've had easier, only easier to understand.

And that, in a sense, is what this show made me have to face. That no matter how privileged my life has been. How much easier I've had it, compared to so, so, many others. It's never been easy. There have only been moments, brief and sometimes, admittedly, not so brief periods where my life seemed to make sense and I felt, if not entirely in control, at least in somewhat of a comfort zone. That I was OK and that I could just get on with doing things my way and just being myself. Not without cost, of course, normally in hard, unremitting, work and effort. In often struggling with feelings of guilt and shame about how selfish I was having to be. Because, that was what carving out my own world felt like. Not necessary, or even justified, but selfish and almost petty of me.

And then, of course, there would always be something that would intrude from the outside world. As often, as not, something petty and officious that would dump me back into the turmoil and uncertainty. Because, you can never really isolate yourself from the world, as much as some of us would love to. And so much of this world really isn't made for us. It will always be hard and there will always be those who delight in making it harder. Those who are truly petty and selfish, in the ways that we aren't, and others who will try to use that hate to benefit themselves. It's why carving out our safe spaces will always be difficult, but also, so very necessary.

#Autism
#ActuallyAutistic

LehtoriTuomo, 15 days ago to actuallyautistic

I've been trying to understand what it means that an autistic brain is bombarded with so much information. We spent some time at our summer cottage and I think I got some insight in this.

Instead of seeing the lake in front of my eyes, everywhere I looked I saw a detail. Its size would vary but it would still be a detail. A swan there, its partner there, no leaves on that tree yet, what a cool pattern on the small waves, what does it look like when I move my eyes this way, or that way, a car on the opposite shore, the shadow of the tree, I wonder what seagulls those are etc. A new detail with every single glance.

At the same time my attention tried to keep track of the dog and listened to birds singing and bumblebees flying around.

Now I wonder what it feels like just to see the lake.

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

seanwithwords, 1 month ago to acab

One of my colleagues was involved in a serious but simple mistake made by local police a couple of days ago, which ended with him being beaten and cuffed before being told he was “free to go”

This is going to sweeten his retirement situation quite a bit. He’s ok, and he got a lawyer involved immediately, and the cops have already been served

The irony is that he’s a terrible teacher and a terrible colleague. He’s the teacher the bad kids think is cool. But I’m finally rooting for him

#ACAB

autism101, 1 month ago to actuallyautistic

Do you need routines but actually dislike them at the same time?

image: unknown
#AuDHD #AskingAutistics #AskADHD #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

seanwithwords, 1 month ago to random

This may come as a surprise but there is not a single cover version of “The Rainbow Connection” that is better than Kermit’s original.

seanwithwords, 2 months ago to random

infuriating local news today.

"The gender identity policy will allow teachers to forego a student's preferred pronouns or chosen name and only call them by their birth name, as provided by the student's parents.

The policy will also mandate teachers to inform a student's parents if the student is requesting to be called by a different name or pronoun."

this is violence.

#TeacherLife #TransLivesMatter

https://www.wgal.com/article/south-western-school-district-proposed-policies-on-gender-identity-books/60017126

ferngirl, 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

Dear fellow neurodivergent peeps / @actuallyautistic , I'd like to look deeper into #autisticculture - I'd love your input.

If you can recommend any books / art / music by Autistic people, I'd love to hear about it.

If there already is a resource for Autistic culture, I'd love to know about it. If there isn't one, I'll consolidate what I find here & elsewhere on my website / blog.

Please share, comment, link - I want to learn! #ActuallyAutistc

sebwhatever, 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic #askingautistics

I'm feeling a little low today. What are some things that you #actuallyautistic folx do to help yourselves out of a funk?

GottaLaff, 2 months ago to random

This. Was excellent.

“Pundits suggest replacing President Biden as the Democratic nominee because they don’t understand the job of the presidency or how conventions work. Lawrence O’Donnell gives a history lesson in governing in the age of television.”

https://www.msnbc.com/the-last-word/watch/lawrence-on-what-they-don-t-tell-you-about-the-dump-biden-fantasy-204684869613

olena, 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

I’ve heard today that #autistic people don’t form habits, they create routines.
I thought of my ‘useful habits’ - and yeah, right, they are routines.
But then I thought: well, what’s the difference then? What is a habit if NOT a routine?
Can anyone help me with examples of what may be a habit, but not a routine?

@actuallyautistic
#AuDHD
#neurodivergent

ashleyspencer, 2 months ago to random

One of my autistic traits is that I can’t lie. When asked direct questions, all that exists is the truth. My mind will draw a blank if there’s no truthful answer to the question, and my brain doesn’t even think of lies in the moment

I keep thinking about that interview. All interviews will go exactly like that one. I can’t lie and say my consulting gig was a real job, nor lie that my business is passive income when it’s not

I’d have to lie to get hired, and I can’t do that

#ActuallyAutistic

rbreich, 2 months ago to random

The number of workplace strikes in America hit a 23-year high last year.

The number of workers on strike jumped nearly 300% from 2022.

It’s a historic moment for the labor movement.

Workers are done letting billionaires and corporations hoard all the wealth and power.

zalasur, 2 months ago to PCGaming

Today on No Man's Sky: Omaga Update, we got our freighter! It's a C-class but it flies!

We traded in our starter ship for a B class shuttle but I need to make some money to continue trading up. I'd prefer a fighter or maybe one of those exotic class ships I've seen hanging around the star bases.

This afternoon we'll continue the Artemis story line and see how far we get!

https://video.surazal.net/w/9HhmDj1WqnkgTzvXKsVKka

#NoMansSky
#peertube
#Stream
#Streaming

nettle, 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

Do you have an easier time taking care of the needs of others than yourself?

If so, do you have (or know of) any theories for why you work that way?

vger, 3 months ago to actuallyautistic

I think I'm done with watching real competitive team sports. I've always had problems with excitement when watching my favorite team play. I've watched yesterdays super bowl, my team being the 49ers. My heart was racing the whole game and it was impossible for me to control my temper in any way, I was stimming like crazy the whole time. Regardless of my team losing, I did not get anything positive out of that experience. I just felt miserable the whole game.

@actuallyautistic
#actuallyautistic

johncormier, 3 months ago to random

A couple of months ago, I read something on here that quite literally changed my life. It sent me on an unexpected journey of self-discovery that continues to this day. When you’re 54, you don’t expect too many surprises about who you are. But when I read a thread on here about being autistic, something just clicked. So I went down the rabbit hole, read a bunch of articles, did some self-evaluations, and came to the inescapable conclusion that I am autistic. #actuallyautistic

EVDHmn, 3 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic
A thread

Would you be interested in contributing content or develooment of an online community project?

A brainstorm session to start out. This would be an Neurodivergent for neurodivergent allies and creators to raise awareness.

Here’s why I realized even though I have it tough there are plenty of people out there doing worse. So I’ve been trying to raise awareness locally, so far our semi backwards community is moving forward.

Reply below if interested
Cheers

sebwhatever, 3 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic #askingautistics

Where else online do you hang out with other #actuallyautistic folx?

Susan60, 3 months ago to ADHD

Last night I listened to a podcast on Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, https://www.divergentpod.com/blog/ep-29
. It’s is common amongst ADHDers, & therefore some autistic folk. And I realise that it’s probably been the main influence in my life, the motivator for my masking, the cause of my fawning response that has sometimes made me vulnerable & often made me squirm, & the source of so much grief & anxiety.

I’ve learned some strategies over the years to help me, both to establish better boundaries & to be more rational in my thinking & less reactive, but have also been led to blame other people for my insecurity, rather than see it as a product of my ADHD (which hadn’t been diagnosed). And guess who was at fault? My parents of course, mainly my mother.

I have no doubt that my mother was AuADHD like me. She had her flaws, but was smart, witty, funny & had a good set of values. She was a bit of a snob, aspirational, but not a victim blamer. Her own health issues arose when she still had one child in primary school, and she died at 45, so she didn’t get the chance to do, learn & reflect as I have over my longer life, (& I’m not done yet!)

But I know her values from so many discussions about newspaper articles & Phillip Adams’ column in the Saturday Age. She, like many of her generation, was still shocked by the enormity & depravity of the Holocaust, even though she was only a child during the war. She judged the German people harshly, but could be very warm with individuals of any background. She befriended a Czech refugee family. She admired Don Dunstan, supported drag queens, loved filling in for a friend who worked for a gay intererior designer in his shop…

I wonder what she would have thought when my sister came out as lesbian, & my oldest as non-binary?

And I wonder how she might’ve responded when I started to explore my own neurodivergence?

#ActaullyAutistic #ADHD @actuallyautistic

olena, 4 months ago to queer

Which flavor of #neurodivergent is inability to feel belonging to any group? I think, I finally got why I don’t get that #gender thing. Basically, a gender is just another cohort, with some assumed properties. A group one feels belonging to. And I have never felt as a part of any group. I never fit in. Each cohort is supposed to have certain properties, and I just never have all. I just feel like impostor in any, including any gender/sexuality groups, including #agender #queer #nd #AuDHD