@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

SNerd

@SNerd@lor.sh

Purveyor of original comedy bronze humor - it’s a smaller niche market than comedy gold. #nerlingersjokes (yeah, I spelled it wrong but too lazy ti fix it) My hobbies are saying stupid stuff. I can’t think of any other hobbies. Proud to say I was on Twitter for about 2 weeks, 1 tweet, and Musk didn’t like it because I pointed out he inadvertently criticized Rupert Murdock, so he had my only tweet taken down.

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SNerd, to random
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

BREAKING - Former President and current Presidential Candidate Donald names his 2024 running mate

paulfoerster, to random
@paulfoerster@swiss.social avatar

That was perfect. 🤣 But it's all gone now. 😔@evelynefoerster and I had a perfect afternoon sunny chicken meal. 🤣

The chicken is ready to be served. It’s standing on its stand inside the now open Big Green Egg and waiting to be taken out.
The chicken was cut in halves and we both each had one half. The picture shows one half of the chicken on a plate, along with three roasted champignons.
All gone. This is the stand on which the chicken is positioned to be roasted equally from all sides. It’s more or less a cone formed by thick wires to hold the chicken upright.

SNerd,
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

@paulfoerster @evelynefoerster
Do you always pose your BBQ chicken provocatively?

SNerd,
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

@evelynefoerster @paulfoerster
OK, that’s just perverted 😂

SNerd,
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

@paulfoerster @amiserabilist @evelynefoerster
I drink 2 beers and eat the rotisserie chicken I bought at Walmart

SNerd, to random
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

Strandjunker, to random
@Strandjunker@mstdn.social avatar

Everyone is talking about Clarence Thomas’ blatant corruption. Let’s not forget we still don’t know who paid off Brett Kavanaugh’s $92,000 country club fees, $200,000 credit card debt, and $1.2 million mortgage.

How many SCOTUS seats have been put up for sale?

SNerd,
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

@Strandjunker
At what point in our country’s history did this become none of our business?

Skepticat, to random
@Skepticat@mstdn.social avatar

I'm a closet Swiftie.
This is one bad ass photo.

SNerd,
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

@Skepticat
She’s probably yelling at Travis for wearing one of his trashy outfits again

SNerd, to random
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar


“It could change the way billionaires are pleasured forever” 🤣
https://www.theonion.com/first-neuralink-implant-recipient-successfully-performs-1851273965

patrickworld, to random
@patrickworld@mastodon.online avatar

Did I put a new door handle on the downstairs bathroom?

Yes!

Did I at one point get locked inside the bathroom while I was doing it?

Also yes!

A door with an unfinished doorknob installation, showing an exposed latch mechanism through a hole in the door.

SNerd,
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

@patrickworld
That’s better than locking yourself outside the bathroom and preventing anyone from using that bathroom ever again 🤷

SNerd, to comics
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Halp!!! I got deodorant in my mouth!

SNerd,
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

@RickiTarr
Quick! Put mouthwash on your arm pits!

emmreef, to random
@emmreef@mastodon.world avatar

[steps up to the mic 🎤]

That that ate part of his brain, is the worst hole in the head any Kennedy has ever had.

SNerd,
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

@emmreef
Too soon! 😂

SNerd, to random
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

says eating mercury kills brain worms

SNerd, to random
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

Stormy Daniels says she had a worm in her vagina

SNerd, to random
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

Kristi Noem insists she met Kim Jong Un, but in her defense they do look similar

unclepj, to random
@unclepj@zirk.us avatar

Ok, question. Why do we say Attorney at Law? Is there some other kind? Like Attorney at Having a Good Time or Attorney at Snowboarding?

May I suggest Attorney at Napping? That’s something I could get behind.

SNerd,
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

@unclepj
When they mow their grass are they an attorney at lawn?

RickiTarr, (edited ) to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Why do you follow me?

SNerd,
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

@RickiTarr
If I say I don’t follow you, is that like pressing your buttons?

SNerd, to random
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

Who among us has not been held in contempt of court 10 times? Give the man another chance

Alice, to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

I dated a guy for about a week when I was a teenager and I just googled him and found a YouTube video of him doing standup comedy which is interesting because I don’t remember him being particularly funny and the video serves as proof that he still isn't.

SNerd,
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

@Alice
You dated him for only one week and you expect him to have good standup material?

SNerd, to random
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

Something to put a smile on your face

patrickworld, to random
@patrickworld@mastodon.online avatar

That’s it. I’m moving to America. https://apple.news/AFO6UbpeWTuiHQk0WINblog

SNerd,
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

@patrickworld
Why doesn’t Canada have a wall or something to stop criminals from crossing the border?

GottaLaff, to Arizona
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️Via Kyle Griffin:

The #Arizona GOP just selected state Sen. Jake Hoffman — a fake elector indicted last week for his efforts to overturn President Biden's 2020 win in Arizona — as a national committeeman for the Republican National Committee. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2024-election/arizona-gop-taps-fake-elector-rnc-post-rcna149719

SNerd,
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

@GottaLaff
Well if you’re a criminal organization you’ve got to have criminals running it 🤷

TCatInReality, to random
@TCatInReality@mastodon.social avatar

For the record, I think it's great to see tax-evading, spoiled rich people indicted for tax crimes.

But it should be a LOT more frequent with people of all parties

Hunter Biden Charged With Evading Taxes on Millions From Foreign Firms https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/07/us/politics/hunter-biden-indictment.html

SNerd,
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

@lin11c @TCatInReality
Only career criminals avoid prosecution. 🤷

SNerd,
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

@lin11c @TCatInReality
All they have to do is become an informant and then they can do whatever they want. Like Whitey Bulger did. He ran a whole criminal organization while he was an informant. Gotta protect the “resource”.

Alice, to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

The worst thing about having a birthday the day after Cinco de Mayo is that everybody is always like "Here's a present for both Cinco de Mayo AND your birthday."

SNerd,
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

@Alice
You’d think everyone giving you a leftover burrito as a gift because they think it’s funny, would be worse 🤷
Happy birthday (a day early)!

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