@bransonturner@mastodon.social
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

bransonturner

@bransonturner@mastodon.social

Awards include "Best Hustle," "Most Improved," and 4 time winner of "Perfect Attendance."

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

GottaLaff, to legal
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

NEW 🧵starts HERE.

Plz remember to use NFL (Not For Laffy, no hashtag) so I can ignore those replies while live-posting. TY!

1/... Tyler McBrien:

It's 2:09 p.m., Trump walks in with his defense team in tow.

Alan Dershowitz is still here as well.

All five members of the prosecution are already seated.

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@GottaLaff NFL Too much television has made me believe in "In my chambers! Both of you!" And not the shuffling in and out of this poor jury. 🤣

GottaLaff, to legal
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

REMINDER: I can’t always reply/answer questions. Use NFL (Not For Laffy)

🧵Starts HERE 1/…

Pagliery:

Trump is sitting at the defense table, with Todd Blanche at his right and Emil Bove at his left, plus Susan Necheles at the far left.

Blanche is explaining something, waving his right hand around while Trump nods in approval.

Dozens called for jury duty are downstairs and going through metal detectors.

The judge just sat down. We begin.

bransonturner, (edited )
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@GottaLaff
NFL, just testing the graphic live! 🤣

ETA: It's free for anyone to use, tho I don't know how practical it is. 😉

GottaLaff, to random
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

MEANWHILE, at , via Ryan Reilly:

Supreme Court Trump immunity arguments underway.

"There can be no presidency as we know it" without presidential immunity, Trump lawyer John Sauer argues. 🤦🏻‍♀️

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@GottaLaff

image/gif

GottaLaff, to legal
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

1/…🧵

Let’s start with this, via @darthstar, because NY has laws that govern . I heard the Legals on TV say the same thing as Sean here:

https://mastodon.online/@darthstar/112320741962522803

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@GottaLaff That kind of slow pulling off of someone else's fender because the car doesn't realize it needs to stop and back up. Onlookers just cringing.

GottaLaff, to legal
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

#TrumpTrial 🧵 starts HERE. #Trump #legal

Please remember I don’t reply while live-posting. Plz use NFL (Not For Laffy, but no hashtag) so I can ignore those replies.

1/

Pagliery:

Today's session starts with prosecutors asking for a sidebar with the judge. Lawyers on both sides are now discussing something in hushed tones.

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@GottaLaff "sweeps"!

video/mp4

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@GottaLaff 💥💥💥💥

GottaLaff, to legal
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

New 🧵starts HERE. 1/…

Plz remember to use "NFL" (Not For Laffy) & remember: typos are theirs, not mine. No time to correct.

Inner City Press (aka Press):

They're back.

Trump's lawyer Blanche: Half an hour ago, we learned who the next witness is - and we have some objections. Invoices from Michael Cohen are not business records of the Trump Organization. If she stamped them, sure

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@GottaLaff NFL

The descriptions of the witnesses (by necessity) are so short, I'm getting Large Marge vibes here...

GottaLaff, to legal
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

Mr. Blowdryer cooperated. I'm back, catching up now.

NEW THREAD🧵 #TrumpTrial #Trump #legal 1/...

Klasfeld:

We're back.

Prosecution: "The People call David Pecker."

Pecker, 72, provides some biographical information. He's married, and he now does consulting work.

After seeing that Jurors do not currently have notepads, the judge asks those who want them to raise their hands.

Their hands immediately shoot up — a studious bunch.

They are provided with them.

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@GottaLaff NFL, we're going to have to give Laffy a shorthand for questions thrown at her while threading.
Maybe DMMTTP! (DON'T MAKE ME TAP THE SIGN!) 🤔😆

StillIRise1963, to random
@StillIRise1963@mastodon.world avatar

Don’t say shit about caring about trans people, gay people, Black people, brown people, immigrants or your own damn self if you don’t VOTE for Biden. And, you can kiss my ass too.

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@StillIRise1963

GottaLaff, to random
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

So glad they ended the early today. We have another house showing, so that reallllllly helped.

Next week will be crazy. I hope the interruptions will be minimal. 🤞🏼

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@GottaLaff I remember back in 1997, we were interviewing for a third roommate, and one guy came over during The Simpsons. That guy was out. I know you have to show the house, but who wants to see a house during the trial hours?
🤣🤣🤣

18+ qurlyjoe, to random
@qurlyjoe@mstdn.social avatar

This is apparently making the rounds. Don’t look at the feet, or try to count the legs and arms. Also, two small children are merging with their parents, or emerging from them—it’s hard to tell.

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@Bandersnatch @qurlyjoe Came here for this comment. Banjos, you say? Or DUELING banjos?

TonyStark, to random
@TonyStark@progressivecafe.social avatar

Media’s breathless, hysterical, round-the-clock, clickbait coverage of the protests is yet another example of how the fourth estate has abandoned any and all responsibility to inform and educate in exchange for advertiser-luring clicks.

I am still waiting for the major part of the media to own up to their role in helping to elect Trump in 2016. Their coverage of everything else has been failing us all and this is no different. A large portion of people have also apparently learned nothing.

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@EarthOne24 @TonyStark we tend to forget that the idea of good journalism and truth-telling over profit only existed for about 30, maybe 40 years in our history. The 24 hour cable news cycle sent us right back to yellow journalism. And you can lay the NY Times headlines right over their "Hitler's not really a threat" articles and they line up perfectly.

Alice, to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

Countdown until we learn that Waymo is similar to those Amazon stores where the self-driving cars are actually controlled by offices full of people who are playing a variation of Mario Kart in order to get us to our destinations.

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@Alice Having ridden waymo a few times:
1.) It is waaaay smoother than a human driver and stays exactly (surreally) in the middle of the lane, even on a left turn.
2.) It did not know not to block the entrance to the valet parking at the concert hall, requiring us to cover our faces as we sprinted away from the vehicle

paninid, to random
@paninid@mastodon.world avatar

Okay, Boomers, make it make sense

http://inaniludibrio.com/2024/04/15/okay-boomers-make-it-make-sense/

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@claralistensprechen3rd @paninid by most definitions, the absolute oldest Boomers would have been 20 in 1965, and still too young to vote. There were zero Boomer civil rights leaders at the time, and zero Boomers in Congress. Boomers first real bite at the apple was to reelect Nixon in 72, and as they really reached adulthood, they overwhelmingly elected Reagan twice, destroying everything the Silent Generation established.

GottaLaff, (edited ) to random
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

GOP Fascist Party

Via Bruce Bartlett (Bio: "Once a conservative, now progressive")::

Republican lickspittles appointed to the federal courts by Trump and Bush have succeeded in destroying 235 years of trust in the American judicial system.

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@GottaLaff And that Bill O'Reilly framing of "tied" while one is actually improving and one is worsening.

sdw, to random
@sdw@mastodon.social avatar

Blackthorne: You tell him that this lettering is an affront, set in a font I know as “Arial”. The charlatan dogs of Microsoft made an atrocity to man and God in this plagiarism of the venerable Helvetica—a fraud and a lie, and he must know it!

Mariko: Anjin is upset about the shape of the letters

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@sdw Anjin is upset by what he calls the Microsoft corruption of a font. He does not speak of Apple's corruption of what we know to be a typeface.

JonBaker, to random
@JonBaker@mastodon.social avatar

I like to think if I ever meet someone super duper famous I’m going to pretend to recognize them from something really fucking weird/obscure

Like if I ever meet Mark Hammill, that’s not Luke Skywalker (what’s a Star War?), but omg it’s Cock Knocker from Jay and Silent Bob

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@JonBaker having done this several times in NYC and once in LA, you'd be amazed at either how much celebrities enjoy telling stories about the random works, or laughing along with you. Also, lesser known actors who are semi retired will often talk. Ed Lauter told me and a friend stories for half an hour. Shane Black chuckled when I recognized him from his role in Predator.

jeffjarvis, to random
@jeffjarvis@mastodon.social avatar

That Thomas is sitting in judgment on this case is such an offense to the institution.

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@jeffjarvis waiting for Sotomayor to ask: "If Joe Biden didn't like how this case was going, could he assassinate Clarence Thomas as an official act?"

Green_Footballs, to random
@Green_Footballs@mastodon.social avatar

increasingly convinced it will take a horrific atrocity of some sort to get the mainstream journalist universe to realize what a catastrophic mistake it was to continue supporting Elon Musk.

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@Green_Footballs Quite a selection: losing astronauts in a Space X launch; cascading destruction and debris of overcrowded starlink satellites; schoolbus crash with out of control Cybertruck; school shooting manifesto quoting his stochastic terrorism on X...

bransonturner, to Musicals
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

fans!

The benefit concert (this Sunday!) my wife is organizing to benefit women is Live Streaming! (pls boost for reach)

Featuring (The Last of Us, Station 19) & (Glee, Waitress) for a night of pop and Broadway performances with , , , , , , , & special guest !

(does @lisamelton boost charities? 🤣)

https://www.harvesthomela.org/benefitconcert

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@lisamelton hugs and kisses, thanks so much!

bransonturner, to random
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@GottaLaff You might enjoy these pre-emptive strike replies created by @danhon . Just the thing to ward off Debbie downers, trolls, and "just saying" reply guys!!

https://files.selfawaresoup.com/need-not-reply/

bransonturner, to random
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@GottaLaff meant to get to this a while ago. Found an hour this morning. 😀

bransonturner, to random
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@lisamelton I forgot to thank you again for the charity boost the other day! The org raised around $40k!

GottaLaff, to random
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

REMINDER: When I’m live posting the , I cannot and likely will not reply, so please don’t ask me questions.

Using NFL (Not For Laffy) helps me skip any replies I don’t need to read.

I must post this 3x a day, but some of you don’t see it, so this is another reminder.

Kthxbye.

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@GottaLaff DON'T MAKE HER TAP THE SIGN!😉

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