@donni@mastodon.social avatar

donni

@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

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donni, to random
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What's a good age to just start screaming incoherently

donni, to random
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Have you been injured by clouds? You may be entitled to condensation

donni, to random
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Too many songs about love, not enough songs about afternoon naps

donni, to random
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In the event of nuclear war, here’s my plan: Get vaporized immediately

donni, to random
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Sometimes I doubt the dinosaurs are ever coming back

donni, to random
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Your eyes glaze over as I describe several new podcasts I like. You slump over, unconscious. I grab your wallet and flee. The perfect crime

donni, to random
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Sure, I could grow as a person and learn from my mistakes, or I could eat an entire block of cheese

donni, to random
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We need one day with absolutely no news stories, plus everyone gets a free sandwich

donni, to random
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Please do not gaze upon my works and despair! I worked really hard on them

donni, to random
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Were people less insane before social media, or just quieter about it

donni, to random
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You can’t just spend your whole life quietly eating cheese about your problems

donni, to random
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Animals are basically always camping

donni, to random
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Don’t forget to eat some pizza. It’s dangerous to let your pizza levels get too low

donni, to random
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Anyone want to hang out, get some snacks, maybe flee the country

donni, to random
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Babies aren't that cool. Very few of them have swords

donni, to random
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Sorry I’ve been weird recently, and also in the past, and will also be in the future

donni, to random
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I’m the only person in this elevator who isn’t afraid to talk about their feelings

donni, to random
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Pickles are just cucumbers turned evil by science

donni, to random
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We’re all just looking for someone who finds our weirdness cute for some reason

donni, to random
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Someday we’ll look back on this time and laugh as we forage for clean water

donni, to random
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It’s cute how we all try so hard to pretend we’re not insane

donni, to random
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I just need a hug and several million dollars

donni, to random
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How do I monetize this creeping sense of despair

donni, to random
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Very few socks mate for life

donni, to random
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Sick of aliens watching us passively from somewhere safe

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