jk

jk, 8 months ago to random

cool that in 2023 we have the technology for me to pull out my phone and point it up at the night sky and see labels for all the wonderful celestial objects out there right now such as STARLINK-3716, STARLINK-8755, STARLINK-1644, STARLINK-5244, STARLINK-6152, STARLINK-7361, STARLINK-1672, STARLINK-1739, STARLINK-5123, STARLINK-6321, STARLINK-7551, STARLINK-1540, STARLINK-1527, STARLINK-8223, STARLINK-2311, STARLINK-3080, STARLINK-3130, STARLINK-6581, STARLINK-8580, STARLINK-7001, STARLINK-5150,

jk, 3 months ago to random

there's been almost twenty years of work on optimizing javascript engines with JIT and complex heuristic-based GC and a wealth of feature-rich profiling and analysis tools and validation and testing frameworks for deployment and integration and syntax improvements and functional and higher-order primitives and serverside transpiled code. and it's all enabled some amazing new stuff, for example github now takes 10 seconds to display a plain text file, and you cant search properly anymore

jk, 10 months ago to random

i think a lot about how apparently, someone visiting pink floyd's studio in the mid-70s noticed they had several minimoogs set up with gaffer tape all over them, because when they got a sound they liked, they'd put the tape over the knobs so the settings wouldn't get changed, and invoice the record label for another fresh minimoog. i think this is how you're actually supposed to manage python software installations, just buy a new computer every time you finally get the correct packages set up

jk, 5 months ago to random

you know when you accidentally cat a binary file and despite your lightning-quick ctrl-c reflexes, something in it triggers that old vt100 command that tells your terminal emulator to shoot a spring-loaded boxing glove directly into your face

jk, 8 months ago to random

two space-based adventures written predominantly in C# include squad's kerbal space program (2015) and debussy's clair de lune (1905)

jk, 4 years ago to random

in the future, basically all websites will be full of unblockable ads and/or implemented entirely in ultra-fucked webassembly/opengl, and the tech-savvy will browse the web entirely through cat & mouse proxy servers running headless browsers to OCR the inaccessible content back into old-fashioned normal HTML and illegally redistribute it through peer-to-peer networks

jk, 9 months ago to random

CEO: we have made a revolutionary new type of computer that's wrong

user: this is amazing. i can talk to the computer, and it gives me the correct answer,... every time!

CEO: yes. in fact this is going to be so dangerous. we need you to make our company illegal

jk, 9 months ago to random

simply knowing that "MIDI baud rate is exactly twice the PAL horizontal blanking frequency" is an infohazard that may tempt you into actions that have the potential to destroy your vintage CRT displays and thousands of dollars of synthesiser equipment

jk, 6 months ago to random

me: so whats the prognosis

doctor: well. lets put it this way. you're full of microplastics and teflon. like everyone in your generation youve been exposed to so much BPA, talc asbestos, aspartame, and volatile organic IKEA offgassing compounds that you have, to use the medical term, transformed, into what we could call, to use the medical term, a 'cryptid'. morally you're on team nature, as culpable as the weather. and your lifestyle needs improvement. you should get into e-sports

jk, 11 months ago to random

personally i'd want the person in charge of a website i use to be more rabidly, unreasonably, violently anti-facebook than i am, since it's their job to be anti-facebook on my behalf. i don't have time to keep up with it all personally. don't have the emotional energy, since i'm not a specialist, only an amateur facebook-hater. so you'd just trust that the person running your instance is a completely normal, well-adjusted, balanced, uncontrollable, bloodthirsty facebook-hunting zealot monomaniac

jk, 8 months ago to random

i reckon all software developers should read this thread. it's incredible. literally everything is here. entire books could be written about it
https://forum.videolan.org/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=120627&p=515618

jk, 1 year ago to random

i dreamt last night that there was a "new version of ls" which included a flag which would list each file's "gender". and there were a LOT of different ones and people were arguing about what all the abbreviations meant because it wasn't consistent across distributions

jk, 3 days ago to random

i think when the usa collapses the process will look a lot less like rome and more like what happened with blockbuster video

jk, 5 months ago to random

in the future when you hear a little bird singing in a tree, you'll be able to hold your phone up in the air and it'll identify the bird based on its song. and a big red flashing message will appear on your phone like "CRIMINAL BIRD DETECTED. THANK YOU FOR IDENTIFYING THIS BIRD" and you'll hear a distant buzzing as three police quadcopters converge on your location to arrest the bird

jk, 5 months ago to random

when the interest rates go up, the cost of housing goes up, whereas, when the interest rates go down, the cost of housing finally begins to continue to go up

jk, 1 month ago to random

late-90s computer peripherals are all like. appears as a normal 3-button mouse. but the buttons have different icons on them resembling a globe, a star, and an arrow. when you press the left mouse button, instead of clicking, it types the string "www.website" into your computer. pressing the middle button opens the AOL signup page. when you press the right mouse button, it opens up realplayer, and, after 45 seconds of loading, plays a short low-res video of a guy yelling "i'm surfing the web!"

jk, 7 months ago to random

programming is when you have your code open on one monitor, completely ignored while on the other monitor, youre writing a social media post about some really minor and inconsequential technical curiosity

jk, 9 months ago to random

you: ive been a web developer for 12 years, full stack, SPAs, node, electron, you name it

me: oh that's javascript right? so you write little scripts. little scripts for websites? like when its halloween, and you put a thing in the site so theres a little bat that follows your cursor? thats really cute! i know a lot of people say javascript isnt real programming but i bet youre bringing a lot of joy to people :)

jk, 6 years ago to random

if you get enough smart programmers together all they do is make lisp, so you have to make sure theres some less-smart "control rod" programmers in the team

jk, 5 months ago to random

whenever i hear about ‘letterboxd’ my brain always initially assumes its some kind of aspect ratio management daemon

jk, 4 months ago to random

whenever you open an early 90s computer magazine its always like. some inexcusable ad. like "finally, your dot matrix printer can join the mile high club" and a glossy photo of a businessman on a plane giving us a thumbs up and an exceptionally sly wink, while also wearing earmuffs

jk, 10 months ago to random

its funny how we have to have 27" monitors now rather than 15" ones since all the UI designers have put too much whitespace into all the designs

jk, 1 month ago to random

i think the major problem affecting software development today is 'poor taste'

jk, 14 days ago to random

me: whats the difference between thing x and thing y?

google results: whats the difference between x and z? what is the difference between x? what is the difference between w and y? 10 great recipes involving x and w. what is the difference between z and x? what are differences between things? what is n? is x the same as q? 10 great vacation destinations when you are visiting p, r and q.

jk, 4 months ago to random

browsers used to let you access ftp servers. it was a thing you could count on that was useful sometimes, but at some point, it just went away. for example, chrome got rid of it a few years ago probably, which kinda sucks. anyway i thought "i bet firefox still has that, they're the Good one" so i opened firefox, and nope! not only did they also remove their ftp functionality too but the fucking "Recommended by Pocket" spam had reappeared since i last used the browser. cmon it's just embarrassing