@spytfyre@mastodon.scot
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spytfyre

@spytfyre@mastodon.scot

Profile pic of cartoon me, white, bald, with a full gingerish beard.
Header pic of galaxies scanned so far 0.1% and one galaxy per dot. Fan shape. Rainbow colours. Better if 3D

I delete posts shortly after writing them, if you like it then I know you read it. It doesn't warrant existence on a web server for life. This is not my diary.

Talking absolute shite as a comedy coping mechanism. Leakage connoisseur.
Possibly manic depressive.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

spytfyre, to instagramreality
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From now until the , I'm playing the Benny Hill theme tune at full volume and adopting a Kenneth Williams "oooh matron" voice, because it's now the only way to keep a grip on

This video for the latest fishing hook () helps too

https://youtu.be/u7T-SHu5wi8?si=-bFVY-h1s3HlHbw1

spytfyre, to books
@spytfyre@mastodon.scot avatar

How the Scots Invented the Modern World
Arthur Herman

Library audio app, 28% in and 16 days to go.

Honestly something we should have been taught at school. Perhaps something everyone should be taught at school.

spytfyre, to UKpolitics
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National service? Really?
No I'm not going to laugh. I have kids and would much rather they not get murdered for your arms companies chums and donors thank you.

Another thought, on claiming some mystical flood of seats North of the border. Say that when it happens. We remember who did a better job of handling Covid, and if you had been in charge we'd have had the same death rate with London party telling "Scottish" branch what to do.

spytfyre,
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I mean, of course the might lose some. But it's hard not to when at one point it was 56/59 and Liebour Tories and LD had just one a piece. If that wasn't a statement of intent enough, why not have a UK wide referendum on keeping us on a leash or letting go (dumping, in fact as many would see it). Oil cash cow, wind power, water next.
2016 undid your threats and vows from 2014 and showed the clear difference at the border showing remain. Next vote should be EU/UK not yes/no.

pvonhellermannn, to Futurology
@pvonhellermannn@mastodon.green avatar

Brixham, a Devon harbour town, has been struck by an illness caused by a microscopic parasite - cryptosporidium - in the water!

About 16,000 households and businesses in the Brixham area have been told by South West Water (SWW) not to use their tap water for drinking without boiling and cooling it first.

Not an expert but it does strike me as symptomatic of the state of our water companies and water system.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/article/2024/may/17/devon-businesses-fear-losses-as-tourists-put-off-by-outbreak-of-parasitic-disease?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

spytfyre,
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@pvonhellermannn
The State of "English" water companies, Scotland water is still publicly owned.
I'm not saying it's prefect but there has been no shareholder dividend meaning maintenance and safety have been forsaken to boost profit.

JackTheCat, to random
@JackTheCat@mastodon.scot avatar

David Cameron: Suspending arms sales to Israel not a 'wise path' | The National

https://www.thenational.scot/news/24314350.david-cameron-suspending-arms-sales-israel-not-wise-path/

spytfyre,
@spytfyre@mastodon.scot avatar

@JackTheCat @Theriac "slithered", when it's greasy bacon fat features we're talking about
Under a rock
He slithered back out from under to sell weapons.

Also forgot, didn't he make Alex de Pfeffel a cabinet minister? Think that might have been the overlooked biggest mistake

spytfyre, to UKpolitics
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https://youtu.be/oKS8gvvjxuQ?si=_fG_6rbqrMQrqRBJ&t=65

"There is something very wrong with this country, isn't there?"

Rarely a truer word spoken.

spytfyre, to random
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Childhood best friend calls after a few beers
As usual I don't get many words in
They're disillusioned with as "they need to get own house in order, stop just saying you did worse things"
They're critical of gender reform and hate bill
They're considering voting for bloody Alba
They're sick of electric cars because battery mining and making is toxic and mostly in China
Sick of woke colleagues triggered by his company mental health awareness
Tells me not having daughter means I can't comment

spytfyre, to random
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OK John Cleese.
If is dead, why does Viz still get printed?
Your argument is invalid.

spytfyre, to politics
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At least our one outlasted a turnip. (Therefore several lettuce).
🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

spytfyre, to politics
@spytfyre@mastodon.scot avatar

Radical idea for transport
Make it illegal to drive past a bus stop with empty seats in the car. Even if you take them in the general direction of their destination and have to drop them at the last bus stop they can use before your route takes you off in the wrong direction. If you can drop them on your route you get to have the bus fare for petrol, electricity, maintenance etc.
And they can check your insurance and MOT from the license plate so you can't drive anyone daft.

spytfyre, to Scotland
@spytfyre@mastodon.scot avatar

@patrickharvie I was intending on switching my vote in the general election from SNP to green (as I can't in conscience vote for Joanna Cherry).
Green always got my councillor vote and second list vote in Scotland elections.
If the green party go for no confidence and side with the Tories you will also lose my vote for good.
Just so you know.
Sincerely

spytfyre, to Israel
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Is anyone else, like me, just waiting for the pages to stop loading, WiFi and mobile signals cut out and the screen go off shortly before the lights?


spytfyre, to Diablo4
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Calling all players. Especially new players through game pass.
Restarted clan.
Mastodonians
Tag MSTDN2
Come one come all

(Please note, the use of the word "come" here means "join" but if you do get that excited then I'm not going to judge)

pvonhellermannn, (edited ) to random
@pvonhellermannn@mastodon.green avatar

This article by Gary Stevenson is so good, please read every word of it.

“Whatever Jeremy Hunt says, traders know the rich will get richer and the poor will get poorer. And they’re paid millions to bet on it.”

This is what the world is - it is run by a minute elite for a minute elite and the rest of us, the masses, the natural world, we just don’t count. It is a (will reshare my own piece on this below 1/n)

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/mar/05/banker-budget-mega-rich-traders-jeremy-hunt?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

spytfyre,
@spytfyre@mastodon.scot avatar

@pvonhellermannn
This
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/picture/2022/nov/24/ben-jennings-on-british-parents-skipping-meals-cartoon#img-1

spytfyre, to UKpolitics
@spytfyre@mastodon.scot avatar

Oh I forgot the little had an amendment too (how cute/adorable, being allowed to play with the others [because their mum paid the other kids mums to tell their children they had to]) but they lost 25 to 303.
Does that make the papers? No? Just the one.. Ah of course. Shut up and believe our take on the news, peasant!

spytfyre, to random
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Sunak: "congratulations on your return to front line politics David"
David: "and you're QUITE sure agriculture wasn't open?"
S: "David... The pigs?"
D: "I'll meet foreign agriculture ministers"
S: "No they're all clear on this"
D: "the plane could fly over a farm?"
S: "what would Samantha say?"
D: "she changed her name to Hamantha for me"
S: "sweet lord!"
D: "bacon is sweet"
S: "you still EAT them?"
D: "oh yes, salty too, extra salty, afterwards, I like they taste of my own..."
S: "DAVID STOP!"

spytfyre, to Scotland
@spytfyre@mastodon.scot avatar

What's that?
and the showing what the decent and ahem international law

Ah I'm not even going to finish that. Here is the link:
https://www.thenational.scot/news/23911493.snp-use-kings-speech-amendment-force-labour-ceasefire-vote/

spytfyre, to politics Scots
@spytfyre@mastodon.scot avatar

Aw fah faaaaak saaaaake.
Noo ahm an extremist.
How'd ah let that happen ower nicht?
Ah put ma V mask awa last week, wiz that it?
Ahm aff tae bide in Ireland.
At least they might get a union that's worth haein an no wan wur trapped in eftur blowin wur chance.
Ah cannae keep passin 2014 55% No voters an no punch each an every single wan ay thum.

spytfyre, to random
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Where's the next submarine trip and can I get on it please?

spytfyre, to UKpolitics
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Can anyone up late or early that has the hashtag please post updates in the using that hashtag? I need to drive tomorrow so can't follow and don't use BBC or Google news for updates any longer
Much appreciated

spytfyre, to Fortnite
@spytfyre@mastodon.scot avatar

Went full or (whatever the call it) for the today and it went down a storm. Sadly I wasn't allowed to dual wield so I'll need to book a fake name next time and claim spilt personality. Suggestions for name welcome.

spytfyre, to UKpolitics
@spytfyre@mastodon.scot avatar

My 11 year old just said in a Dalek voice
"Keir Starminate"
And I honestly couldn't be more proud.

#UKpolitics #satire #humour #jokes #labour #Starmer #DrWho #Daleks

spytfyre, to threads
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The more I read about the closer I get to the "delete account" button.

spytfyre, to random
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11am
22°C
Nope

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