Something very interesting I accidentally came across while investigating what neurotransmitters are involved in an orgasm (turns out to be basically all of them, but oxytocin and vasopressin are specific to sex, love and friendship):
Something I haven’t talked about publicly because I’m scared someone in my family will see it:
In trying to heal my #BPD and #cPTSD I’ve had to dig deep into my childhood and look for the roots of my #trauma.
And this time… I found them. Or rather - “it”. There is just one root for all of my many many many mental health troubles and life issues for as long as I remember.
It’s my mother.
My mother, who I still maintain contact with. She was my abuser.
How do you process that the person who you thought was your “good” parent actually controlled, manipulated, and punished you into a completely distorted worldview where you saw everything as evil, broken, and abhorrent other than her?
How can you go on knowing your mother actively starved, physically tortured, mentally devastated, and broken you for every year of your existence?
How can you live when your own mother repeated you don’t deserve to exist? #BPD#cPTSD#trauma
Because of it I’m not good with conceptualizing a coherent sense of reality beyond the present moment.
So right now I’m deeply upset because someone I really care about and like working with is on vacation until Monday.
Even though we have messaged every single day for a month now - my brain is telling me that because we aren’t speaking RIGHT NOW it doesn’t count, they aren’t real, they don’t care about me. Ugh
My brain is deciding right now that it’s life or death that I test this person and that I must message them RIGHT NOW and make that message something they can’t possibly ignore.
And that sense of danger wants me to ignore how irrational, distorted, and frankly selfish the impulse is.
I feel myself itching to do it.
And my treatment involves me noticing the cycle and NOT acting on it
The reason I’m telling all of you this is partially to educate on my disorder, but also because publicly admitting to my harmful coping mechanisms and thought patterns keeps me aware and accountable.
And the only way for me to get better is to keep forcing myself to recognize all the irrational conclusions and cycles that my brain traps me in.
Thank you so much for sharing this and being this open. Reading your thread is really insightful, but also painful.
In the past I have been in a relationship (engaged even) with someone with #BPD. While I am open to elaborate - this is your thread and I am not going to hijack it.
I think you being aware of the irrational impulse and actively fighting it, is so powerful. Complete and utter respect - it has to be anything but easy.
Please always try to remember that you matter. Every single day.
I'm far too fascinated with far too many topics. I've compiled an exhaustive list of hashtags for some of those interests; I'll try to do better about keeping it current and updated.
I have a mental illness and it affects my business.
My company is shaped by me and my moods. The way I network is shaped by the problems I struggle with. And the way I show up as a content creator and a marketer is affected by the mental illnesses that my brain suffers from.
If you don't mind taking 12 minutes out of your day, I would truly appreciate it if you could listen to my story.
I talked about #marketing, mental health, #BPD, and emotional resonance.
Sometimes, failure feels like the safest option. Our present might suck and our pain might be unpleasant, but it’s familiar. We know how much our reality hurts. But a better future? That’s strange, new, and uncertain.
I got diagnosed with #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder or #BPD recently. It’s… a very strange diagnosis to receive especially after years of misdiagnosis when the #ADHD was first missed and then didn’t fully explain my mood fluctuations.
Doctors thought I had bipolar, unusual depression, or extremely treatment resistant anxiety.
This diagnosis has been… a blessing in providing answers. But also a difficult realization to process. I have a lot of internalized stigma on it. It’s hard to admit.
Essentially, my genetics and upbringing gave me a brain that can’t process emotions in a healthy way. Or, in the words of Marsha Linehan:
“People with BPD are like people with third degree burns over 90% of their bodies. Lacking emotional skin, they feel agony at the slightest touch or movement.”
I feel all emotions very intensely. I can go from bouncing from walls with joy to sobbing on the floor in the span of 10 minutes (if not quicker). I am dramatic all of the time.
Fairtrade-Siegel werden oft ohne das Einhalten der erforderlichen Standards vergeben. Arbeitende auf den Plantagen berichten von Arbeitszeitverstößen und ungeschütztem Kontakt mit Gift-Pestiziden. #DieSpur
@ZDF
Sind wir auch. Siehe oben #BPD . Also, regt man sich auf oder nicht. Ja, man regt sich auf. Denn das ist vorsätzliche #Körperverletzung, auch mit Todesfolge. Offensichtlich wird das aber wohl eher als #Kollateralschaden betrachtet, da weder #Politik noch #Rechtsstaat konsequent eingreifen. Ungeheuerlich.
@bpb danke für eure Arbeit! Eine Bitte, Seite 8 "blauer Haken", leider müsste man hier ergänzen/aktualisieren: "...oder gegen Bezahlung..." bzw. darauf hinweisen dass das nicht mehr überall so gilt. #FedieEltern#socialmedia#politischebildung#bpd#feedback
Dialectical Behavior Therapy #DBT is a godsend for folks with personality disorders, and I really think just about anyone - mentally ill or not - could benefit from its concepts.
As someone who simultaneously struggles with Borderline Personality Disorder #BPD and Attention Deficit Disorder #ADD/#ADHD, being able to consistently implement and maintain the principles of DBT feels like a monumental and discouraging challenge, not the least of which is the cost of attending traditional #therapy when my partner and I are struggling just to survive. And in order to become stable enough to survive, we need to develop the #CopingSkills taught in DBT.. but we can't afford it!
My ADHD augments my BPD, leaving me with zero self-discipline. For example, I've dabbled with Duolingo and have a 42 day streak going, it's probably the longest amount of time I've maintained a healthy habit in my entire life. I need help to focus and I'm tired of being ashamed to say so.
I realize people need to be compensated for their pioneering work in behavioral therapy; but I wonder if there's some way to "open source" the teaching and practicing of DBT for people like me who otherwise couldn't afford it, and will never be able to afford it without the skills therein!
At this point I'm essentially self-medicating with cannabis most of my waking hours to cope with.. well, the shitshow that is my personal life with mental illness and the burning shitshow that is the world. I can't afford to do that long-term.
I truly, honestly believe DBT is a miracle but we need a way to share the knowledge as a matter of improving overall humanity.
Thoughts? Ideas? Slipped into a coma trying to finish this? I understand.
Daughter remains in the care of a hospital due to her worsening #mentalhealth issues. This hospital is in another part of the country and aren't great at communicating.
I'm quite unwell. Stress & tension coupled with #exhaustion from yesterday have led to visual #migraine and some #ibs symptoms.
Every time I dozed off I was interrupted by staff or family.
We're hoping she'll be transferred back to her local hospital tomorrow.
Whelp.. I finally made too many hashtags to fit on my profile. I tried to pick the ones most applicable to me, or ones I feel most passionate about for my page, and I'll attach an exhaustive, absurdly long list of hashtags below. It was surprisingly difficult to decide which ones made the cut. Drumroll please: