markwyner, to dadjokes
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

Judge: you’re guilty of downloading Wikipedia.

Me: wait. I can explain everything.

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault #Wikipedia

daddyjoker, to dadjokes
@daddyjoker@mastodon.online avatar

In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him. To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.
#DailyDadJoke #DadJokes #Puns

markwyner, to dadjokes
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

I’m addicted to collecting Beatles records.

I need Help.

punfinity, to puns
@punfinity@mastodon.social avatar

"See you Later Alligator" & "In a white crocodile" Puns might have become old.
Therefore, in the article, we'll the the newest in line and best alligator puns.

https://punfinity.com/alligator-puns/

daddyjoker, to dadjokes
@daddyjoker@mastodon.online avatar

OK, so naked running.
Apparently this means running without GPS, music and any other tech.
I wish I knew this an hour ago.
#DailyDadJoke #DadJokes #Puns

stina_marie, to Meme
@stina_marie@horrorhub.club avatar

It's Monday again.

Have a laugh, but try not to get too fired up today. 🔥

#meme #funny #horror @horror #puns #MotherSuspiriasMorningMeme

markwyner, to dadjokes
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault

slawek, to puns
@slawek@mastodon.world avatar
  • so how do you feel about your NDA agreement?
  • can't complain, really

markwyner, to dadjokes
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

The only difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac is a comma.

A literalist takes everything literally. A kleptomaniac takes everything, literally.

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault

markwyner, to dadjokes
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

What’s the best thing about living in Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

GriffinGroup, to puns

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens...

They're calling it the Apollo G

markwyner, to dadjokes
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

Are oranges called oranges because oranges are orange?

Or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault #Colors

astroPug, to puns

Googled “bad puns”

One of the search result is titled “A collection of bad puns”.

I haven’t looked at it but it seems like a pretty neat indie band name.

Paperposts, to Humor
@Paperposts@zirk.us avatar

This is why I love mastodon and stay here. @dgar keeps me smiling, and encourages the best from people

wmj1102, to Funny

I was so unpopular at school they called me "Batteries.”

I'm never included in anything.

negativeprimes, to Jokes
@negativeprimes@urusai.social avatar

My oldest kid said someone should start a YouTube channel where folks discuss predestination while working out at the gym. It would be called "Calvin & Abs."

WearsHats, to puns
@WearsHats@realsocial.life avatar

When it comes to rating citrus, lemons are sublime.

They're just not grate. I have no zest for them.

wmj1102, to Funny

I was never able to use the Wi-Fi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.

Now I have a stable connection.

alameth, to dadjokes
@alameth@sfba.social avatar

Of everything that was invented in the 1970's, the dry-erase board is the most remarkable.

#DadJokes #Puns

markwyner, to dadjokes
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

The difference between a numerator and a denominator is a short line.

Only a fraction of people will understand this.

wmj1102, to Funny

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s OK, he woke up.

negativeprimes, to literature
@negativeprimes@urusai.social avatar

My kid didn't like reading "The Fall of the House of Ussher", but I told them not to be too hard on the author because he was just a Poe boy from a Poe family.

GriffinGroup, to puns

My wife told our son not to play with electricity...

Now he’s grounded.

#Puns #DadJokes

MrBerard, to nyc
@MrBerard@pilote.me avatar

The main issues facing are road surfaces and unlicensed weed stores.
Potholes and pot holes.

Webwasp, to Humor
@Webwasp@mas.to avatar

My astronaut-girlfriend left me. She apparently needed some space...

#humor #jokes #puns #space #moon #breakup #girlfriend #aiart #digitalart

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