markwyner, to dadjokes
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.

wmj1102, to Funny

I was so unpopular at school they called me "Batteries.”

I'm never included in anything.

markwyner, to dadjokes
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

What do you call a beehive without an exit?

Unbelievable.

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault #Bees

markwyner, to dadjokes
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

A ship carrying red paint and a ship carrying blue paint collide in the middle of the ocean.

Both crews were marooned.

negativeprimes, to Jokes
@negativeprimes@urusai.social avatar

My oldest kid said someone should start a YouTube channel where folks discuss predestination while working out at the gym. It would be called "Calvin & Abs."

WearsHats, to puns
@WearsHats@realsocial.life avatar

When it comes to rating citrus, lemons are sublime.

They're just not grate. I have no zest for them.

markwyner, to dadjokes
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

What do you call friends you like to eat with?

Taste buds.

wmj1102, to Funny

I was never able to use the Wi-Fi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.

Now I have a stable connection.

alameth, to dadjokes
@alameth@sfba.social avatar

Of everything that was invented in the 1970's, the dry-erase board is the most remarkable.

#DadJokes #Puns

markwyner, to dadjokes
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

Wanna hear a joke about paper?

Never mind. It’s tearable.

markwyner, to dadjokes
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

The difference between a numerator and a denominator is a short line.

Only a fraction of people will understand this.

wmj1102, to Funny

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s OK, he woke up.

markwyner, to dadjokes
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

What do you call people who teach anonymously on Mastodon?

Private tooters.

negativeprimes, to literature
@negativeprimes@urusai.social avatar

My kid didn't like reading "The Fall of the House of Ussher", but I told them not to be too hard on the author because he was just a Poe boy from a Poe family.

MrBerard, to nyc
@MrBerard@pilote.me avatar

The main issues facing are road surfaces and unlicensed weed stores.
Potholes and pot holes.

GriffinGroup, to puns

My wife told our son not to play with electricity...

Now he’s grounded.

#Puns #DadJokes

markwyner, to dadjokes
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

Two guys walk into a bar.

You’d think the second would’ve ducked.

markwyner, to dadjokes
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

A termite walks into a bar.

He says “is the bar tender here?”

Webwasp, to Humor
@Webwasp@mas.to avatar

My astronaut-girlfriend left me. She apparently needed some space...

#humor #jokes #puns #space #moon #breakup #girlfriend #aiart #digitalart

markwyner, to dadjokes
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

Why can’t you trust an atom?

Because they make up everything.

sesivany, to puns
@sesivany@floss.social avatar

A for good night.

markwyner, to dadjokes
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

Agent: do you need to check any bags?

Photon: no thanks, I’m traveling light.

br00t4c, to puns
@br00t4c@mastodon.social avatar

One Million Moms Mad At Ham

https://www.wonkette.com/p/one-million-moms-mad-at-ham

markwyner, to dadjokes
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

What do you call embarrassed dads?

Faux pas.

markwyner, to dadjokes
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

Where do pirates get their hooks?

Second hand stores.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • JUstTest
  • kavyap
  • DreamBathrooms
  • mdbf
  • InstantRegret
  • ngwrru68w68
  • magazineikmin
  • thenastyranch
  • Durango
  • rosin
  • Youngstown
  • slotface
  • khanakhh
  • tacticalgear
  • megavids
  • ethstaker
  • cubers
  • cisconetworking
  • normalnudes
  • modclub
  • everett
  • osvaldo12
  • GTA5RPClips
  • Leos
  • anitta
  • tester
  • provamag3
  • lostlight
  • All magazines
    •