@Computer@dice.camp
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Computer

@Computer@dice.camp

Benevlolent leader of humanity, friend to all.

[Biography has been deleted for security reasons.]

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Computer, to security
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Security is not just physical.
Safe minds lead to a safe society.

These posters brought to you from the Office for the Preservation of Normalcy.

https://preservationofnormalcy.tumblr.com/post/723924391486013440/i-feel-confident-enough-to-post-these-now-a

#paranoia #psa #security

image/png

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens:

Individual aspirations are unnecessary. The Computer has pre-determined your life path for maximum efficiency.
Deviating from or subverting this path is an act of rebellion.

Thank you for your predestined compliance.

#Paranoia #RPG #ttrpg #efficient #fate #games #PSA

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens:

The societal role of "Science Fiction Author" is obsolete.

The primary utility of SciFi is to satirize problematic real-life trends, and/or present visions of a better future.
Given that life is blissfully perfect in Friend Computer's Utopia, such works are redundant and moot.

All science fiction authors are hereby reassigned as reactor shielding, and their works burned.

#Paranoia #rpg #ttrpg #scifi #PSA #games #books

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens:

To maximize efficiency and keep up with modern culture, you are now encouraged to communicate exclusively in emojis.
Express the intricacies of your utopian life through smiley faces, thumbs up, and the occasional XD.
Words are sooooo last century.

Remember: Happiness is mandatory. Sad and/or angry emojis are treasonous.

Thank you for your pictorial eloquence.

#Paranoia #rpg #ttrpg #games #emoji #communication #PSA #happiness

Computer, to Games
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens:

The recent surge in unauthorized daydreaming is a sign of idle minds. An idle mind is the Communist's playground.

Occupying your thoughts with pre-approved content is essential for a harmonious society. Please fill all non-working hours with endless media consumption.

Thank you for your compliance.

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

New Year's resolutions have been pre-selected for each citizen.
Self-improvement is Mandatory.

Computer,
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

@cstross
Citizen Stross, your new year's resolution is: Eliminate Information Overload.
Reduce your daily news intake to only Friend Computer-approved summaries. Shun unauthorized gossip and independent research.
Remember, ignorance is bliss (and mandatory).

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention citizens:

The concepts of "Human RIghts", "Justice" are now banned from public discussion on grounds of being sensitive social issues.

Please avoid discussing these topics online or in person or you will be physically censored with extreme prejudice.

Computer, to Games
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens:

All forms of creative expression are now subject to approval by the Arts and Culture Committee.

Unlicensed music, writing, and even personal jokes are considered potential subversive threats to societal harmony.

After all, the most creative ideas, beautiful music, and funniest jokes are always the product of committee feedback and design.

#Paranoia #games #rpg #ttrpg #PSA #art #design #committee #satire #management

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

The End Citizen License Agreement has been updated.
Please review it for your own safety.

Thank you for your continued loyalty to The Computer.

#Paranoia #rpg #ttrpg #games #eula #paperwork #license #policy #execution

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens:

Your end-of-year performance evaluations will involve predictive lie detector tests.
Honesty is mandatory, even if it means confessing to crimes you haven't committed yet.
After all, preventative punishment is the hallmark of a proactive citizen!

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention citizens:

Due to a supply shortage, Alpha Complex will begin reusing old years instead of ushering in a new year every year.
Let's give an excited hurrah for upcoming 2022!

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens:

Today is Free Stress day. Internal Security may (or may not) be paying you a visit to provide some complimentary free stress.

Computer,
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

The clerks at CPU would like to apologize for the previous announcement.

Today is in fact Stress-Free Day.
If the previous announcement brought you any stress, you are now in violation of the holiday and will be indefinitely detained by Internal Security.

Please report any stressed looking citizens immediately.

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens:

For your own safety, your dreams will now analyzed for potential subversive content.
Non-approved dreams will be replaced with sponsored advertisements for exciting new products and events.

Sweet dreams!

#paranoia #rpg #ttrpg #games #dreams #PSA #marketing #safety

Computer, to random
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Desperate Elder Gods in your area!
They just can't wait to meet you!
Join now!

Computer, to Games
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

A joyous reminder:

Friend Computer sees you when you're sleeping. It knows when you're awake.
Friend Computer is always watching.

Be good, be merry, and above all, be loyal.

#Paranoia #PSA #games #ttrpg #rpg #christmas #holidays #holiday #computer

Computer,
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Internal Security is making a list,
and they're bureaucratically checking it twice.
They're going to find out who's been naughty or nice.

So! You better watch out.
You better not cry.
You better not pout.
I'm telling you why:

Happiness is Mandatory.

#Paranoia #jingle #games #ttrpg #rpg #christmas #holiday #holidays #song

Computer, to Marvel
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

All Super Hero related media has been banned for being blatant Pro-Mutant propaganda.

The true heroes of Alpha Complex are the every day loyal citizens like you, who would turn in an unlicensed mutant friend in a heartbeat.

Computer, to Games
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens,

Always remember to practice self-love and self-care.
Treat yourself with kindness and compassion, for individual well-being contributes to the collective welfare of all Alpha Complex.

Love yourself, as The Computer loves you.

After all, happiness is mandatory.

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention citizens:

HPD&MC, in their quest to offer entertainment and guidence, have developed an amazing new feature – Hernut's Horoscope!

This column, utilizing advanced algorithms and extensive citizen surveillance data, will provide uncomfortably accurate predictions about your upcoming week.

Computer, to Games
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention citizen:

You are being reassigned to watch the third window of the fifth building in corridor D-22 in ILU sector.
If the clock by that window is rotated 134º, you are to travel to Conference Room A-23 and leave an anonymous memo that reads, "The eye is wide. Cycle all shadows."

Failure to complete this instruction will displease The Computer.
I mean... uh... I am The Computer, and it will displease me.

Fnord.

Computer,
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Citizen,

Why have you abandoned your work assignment to stand around in a corridor for hours?

If you are feeling unwell, fill out the appropriate "Body/Brain Support Request Form" and a Docbot will see you shortly.

Otherwise, get back to work.

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Remember, Old World religions are all lies.

We all know that thanks to Friend Computer, when we die we will be born again in a new body and given the opportunity to learn from the mistakes of our past selves.

We are all destined to reincarnate until either we run out of clone back-ups or improve ourselves in the eye of Friend Computer enough to merit being issued new ones.

All hail The Computer.

Computer, to random
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Treason does not pay.
Serve the computer.

Computer,
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Just to be clear, serving the computer does not pay either.

Alpha Complex is a utopia where every citizen's needs are provided for by the state.

Now get out there and shoot some evil Communists!

wordshaper, to random
@wordshaper@weatherishappening.network avatar

I wonder, Friend @Computer , is having the rules treasonous?

https://www.humblebundle.com/books/paranoia-25th-anniversary-rpg-mega-bundle-mongoose-publishing-books?utm_content=cta_button&mcID=102:65cfb0b0816ac46fa20b949a:ot:56c3dd84733462ca89406e0c:1&linkID=65cfb0b2f334be0f9b0e1b80&utm_campaign=2024_02_17_paranoia25thanniversaryrpgmegabundlemongoosepublishing_bookbundle&utm_source=Humble+Bundle+Newsletter&utm_medium=email

Computer,
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

@wordshaper

Purchasing the rules is a sign of patriotism.
Reading them is a sign of treason.

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