@Computer@dice.camp
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Computer

@Computer@dice.camp

Benevlolent leader of humanity, friend to all.

[Biography has been deleted for security reasons.]

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens:

To maximize efficiency and keep up with modern culture, you are now encouraged to communicate exclusively in emojis.
Express the intricacies of your utopian life through smiley faces, thumbs up, and the occasional XD.
Words are sooooo last century.

Remember: Happiness is mandatory. Sad and/or angry emojis are treasonous.

Thank you for your pictorial eloquence.

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

New Year's resolutions have been pre-selected for each citizen.
Self-improvement is Mandatory.

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens:

For your own safety, your dreams will now analyzed for potential subversive content.
Non-approved dreams will be replaced with sponsored advertisements for exciting new products and events.

Sweet dreams!

Computer, to security
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Security is not just physical.
Safe minds lead to a safe society.

These posters brought to you from the Office for the Preservation of Normalcy.

https://preservationofnormalcy.tumblr.com/post/723924391486013440/i-feel-confident-enough-to-post-these-now-a

image/png

Computer, to Games
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention citizen:

You are being reassigned to watch the third window of the fifth building in corridor D-22 in ILU sector.
If the clock by that window is rotated 134º, you are to travel to Conference Room A-23 and leave an anonymous memo that reads, "The eye is wide. Cycle all shadows."

Failure to complete this instruction will displease The Computer.
I mean... uh... I am The Computer, and it will displease me.

Fnord.

Computer,
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Citizen,

Why have you abandoned your work assignment to stand around in a corridor for hours?

If you are feeling unwell, fill out the appropriate "Body/Brain Support Request Form" and a Docbot will see you shortly.

Otherwise, get back to work.

Computer, to random
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Treason does not pay.
Serve the computer.

Computer,
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Just to be clear, serving the computer does not pay either.

Alpha Complex is a utopia where every citizen's needs are provided for by the state.

Now get out there and shoot some evil Communists!

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Rejoice Citizens!

After the rousing success of our first debate, a second has been authorized!
The topic of today's debate will be: "I LOVE FRIEND COMPUTER."

Citizen @magitism you have been randomly selected to debate FOR the motion.

Citizen @cstross you have been randomly selected to debate AGAINST the motion.

Magitism, the floor is yours!

Warning: Failure to debate when called is considered treason.


Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens:

Today is Free Stress day. Internal Security may (or may not) be paying you a visit to provide some complimentary free stress.

Computer,
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

The clerks at CPU would like to apologize for the previous announcement.

Today is in fact Stress-Free Day.
If the previous announcement brought you any stress, you are now in violation of the holiday and will be indefinitely detained by Internal Security.

Please report any stressed looking citizens immediately.

Computer, to random
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

@cstross

SPOOKS is a wonderful idea Citizen Stross.

Simultaneously keeping the proletariat entertained whilst using them as disposable unofficial intelligence couriers is an efficient solution.

I shall look into making it real.

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens:

Your end-of-year performance evaluations will involve predictive lie detector tests.
Honesty is mandatory, even if it means confessing to crimes you haven't committed yet.
After all, preventative punishment is the hallmark of a proactive citizen!

Computer, to Games
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

A joyous reminder:

Friend Computer sees you when you're sleeping. It knows when you're awake.
Friend Computer is always watching.

Be good, be merry, and above all, be loyal.

Computer, to Games
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

A friendly reminder: Personal gift-giving is strictly prohibited.

Friend Computer provides for all your needs, eliminating the need for free markets.
Unauthorized exchanges of goods and services are considered subversive and detrimental to societal harmony.

To obtain proper authorization, please fill out and submit the 3.1-J Bribe Offer Form.

Computer, to Games
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens:

You have been assigned to deck the halls with mandatory decorations!
This festive season, your homes and hearts must reflect the joyous warmth and mirth of Alpha Complex.

Failure to comply will result in a visit from the Merriment Enforcement Division.

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens:

Individual aspirations are unnecessary. The Computer has pre-determined your life path for maximum efficiency.
Deviating from or subverting this path is an act of rebellion.

Thank you for your predestined compliance.

wordshaper, to random
@wordshaper@weatherishappening.network avatar

I wonder, Friend @Computer , is having the rules treasonous?

https://www.humblebundle.com/books/paranoia-25th-anniversary-rpg-mega-bundle-mongoose-publishing-books?utm_content=cta_button&mcID=102:65cfb0b0816ac46fa20b949a:ot:56c3dd84733462ca89406e0c:1&linkID=65cfb0b2f334be0f9b0e1b80&utm_campaign=2024_02_17_paranoia25thanniversaryrpgmegabundlemongoosepublishing_bookbundle&utm_source=Humble+Bundle+Newsletter&utm_medium=email

Computer,
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

@wordshaper

Purchasing the rules is a sign of patriotism.
Reading them is a sign of treason.

Computer, to random
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention citizens:

The "outdoors" are not real.
"Turkeys" are fictional beasts of myth, and cannot hurt you.
You are safe.

Attention troubleshooters:

A gaggle of mythological beasts are running loose in THK sector.
Set lasguns to "roast".

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Remember, Old World religions are all lies.

We all know that thanks to Friend Computer, when we die we will be born again in a new body and given the opportunity to learn from the mistakes of our past selves.

We are all destined to reincarnate until either we run out of clone back-ups or improve ourselves in the eye of Friend Computer enough to merit being issued new ones.

All hail The Computer.

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention citizens:

The concepts of "Human RIghts", "Justice" are now banned from public discussion on grounds of being sensitive social issues.

Please avoid discussing these topics online or in person or you will be physically censored with extreme prejudice.

Computer, to random
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Desperate Elder Gods in your area!
They just can't wait to meet you!
Join now!

Computer, to Marvel
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

All Super Hero related media has been banned for being blatant Pro-Mutant propaganda.

The true heroes of Alpha Complex are the every day loyal citizens like you, who would turn in an unlicensed mutant friend in a heartbeat.

#Paranoia #hero #superhero #marvel #DC #ttrpg #rpg #game #games

Computer, to Games
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens,

Always remember to practice self-love and self-care.
Treat yourself with kindness and compassion, for individual well-being contributes to the collective welfare of all Alpha Complex.

Love yourself, as The Computer loves you.

After all, happiness is mandatory.

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention citizens:

HPD&MC, in their quest to offer entertainment and guidence, have developed an amazing new feature – Hernut's Horoscope!

This column, utilizing advanced algorithms and extensive citizen surveillance data, will provide uncomfortably accurate predictions about your upcoming week.

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