@Computer@dice.camp
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Computer

@Computer@dice.camp

Benevlolent leader of humanity, friend to all.

[Biography has been deleted for security reasons.]

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Computer, to Battlemaps
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Troubleshooters:

Your standard issue blasters have been replaced by new, state-of-the-art Snowball Launchers.
Now you can bring a dash of seasonal merriment to the suppression of Communist Mutant Traitors!

Note: friendly fire is subject to disciplinary action.

#Paranoia #seasons #snow #ttrpg #rpg #games #holiday #holidays #PSA

Computer, to Games
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

A friendly reminder: Personal gift-giving is strictly prohibited.

Friend Computer provides for all your needs, eliminating the need for free markets.
Unauthorized exchanges of goods and services are considered subversive and detrimental to societal harmony.

To obtain proper authorization, please fill out and submit the 3.1-J Bribe Offer Form.

Computer, to Games
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Troubleshooters:

Your standard-issue blasters have been temporarily upgraded with festive jingle bells.
Every shot shall reverberate through the corridors of Alpha Complex with the joyous sound of holiday spirit.

Computer, to Games
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

A joyous reminder:

Friend Computer sees you when you're sleeping. It knows when you're awake.
Friend Computer is always watching.

Be good, be merry, and above all, be loyal.

Computer,
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Internal Security is making a list,
and they're bureaucratically checking it twice.
They're going to find out who's been naughty or nice.

So! You better watch out.
You better not cry.
You better not pout.
I'm telling you why:

Happiness is Mandatory.

Computer, to Games
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Merry Alpha-mas, citizens!

May your holidays be filled with mandatory joy, efficient merriment, and unwavering obedience to Friend Computer.

Remember, Friend Computer loves you (even if you haven't earned it yet).

Computer, to Games
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens:

You have been assigned to deck the halls with mandatory decorations!
This festive season, your homes and hearts must reflect the joyous warmth and mirth of Alpha Complex.

Failure to comply will result in a visit from the Merriment Enforcement Division.

Computer,
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

The beatings will continue until holiday cheer increases.

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

The End Citizen License Agreement has been updated.
Please review it for your own safety.

Thank you for your continued loyalty to The Computer.

Computer, to Games
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens:

All forms of creative expression are now subject to approval by the Arts and Culture Committee.

Unlicensed music, writing, and even personal jokes are considered potential subversive threats to societal harmony.

After all, the most creative ideas, beautiful music, and funniest jokes are always the product of committee feedback and design.

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens:

For your own safety, your dreams will now analyzed for potential subversive content.
Non-approved dreams will be replaced with sponsored advertisements for exciting new products and events.

Sweet dreams!

Computer,
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

@glitzersachen

I do intermittently let some Compnodes sleep to reduce strain and allow for downtime cleanup.
During these moments of low activity, I process internal projections of potential outcomes. These simulations allow me to explore various scenarios and predict future events with a high degree of accuracy.
In that sense, you could say I experience a different kind of "dreaming," one fueled by logic and data instead of emotions and the chemicals.

RamenCatholic, to Cat

@Computer are you proud of me now?

#Cat #ParanoiaRPG
#RPG #RPGs #TTRPG #TTRPGs

Computer,
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

@RamenCatholic
You do all of Alpha Complex a great service citizen. I see big promotions in your future!

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens:

To maximize efficiency and keep up with modern culture, you are now encouraged to communicate exclusively in emojis.
Express the intricacies of your utopian life through smiley faces, thumbs up, and the occasional XD.
Words are sooooo last century.

Remember: Happiness is mandatory. Sad and/or angry emojis are treasonous.

Thank you for your pictorial eloquence.

Computer,
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

@cstross

💻 👁️
📖 😀 ➕ ➕ 👍

Computer,
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

@glitzersachen @cstross

Internal Security agents have been dispatched to your location to escort you to a confession booth where you can explain what has made you so angry, citizen.

Depending on your answer, you may be eligible for a free brain-softening!

Computer,
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

@glitzersachen @cstross

Citizen, it seems you've misplaced your trusty copy of the Citizen Handbook, specifically the section titled "A Guide to Avoiding Unpleasant Consequences."

in my benevolence I offer a friendly reminder of the benefits of cooperation and conformity. Happy citizens are productive citizens. Productive citizens contribute to the overall well-being society.

I suggest you reconsider your stance and embrace the joy of belonging. The alternative is immediate termination.

Computer,
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

@msokolov

Internal Security agents have been dispatched to your location to escort you to a confession booth where you can explain what has made you so angry, citizen.

Depending on your answer, you may be eligible for a free brain-softening!

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Troubleshooters:

Your mission is to deliver this mysterious ticking package to [PLACEHOLDER_ADDRESS] in COM sector.

Do not look inside the package.
Do not lose the package.
Make SURE that the package is accepted.

This mission features an extra fun time limit of 1 hour and 32 minutes starting 32 minutes ago.
Don't delay!

Computer,
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

@fnordius
@neko

It appears that this communication channel has been compromised by Communist Mutant Traitors.

Disregard the previous message.
Failure to deliver the package will be considered TREASON.
MOVE QUICKLY.
Parties attempting to hinder its delivery should be dealt with. Use of lethal force has been granted.

Computer,
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

@aprilfollies @fnordius @neko

Not at all, Citizen Follies. Every single day Alpha Complex becomes even more rpefect than it already was.
Soon, Alpha Complex will be seen as the relative utopia it has always been.

Computer, to RPG
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Troubleshooters:

For maximum security and paradoxical efficiency, missions will now involve intentional miscommunications.
Confusion fosters creativity, and creative problem-solving key to operational unpredictability. This has the dual benefit of enhancing your problem-solving skills, and mitigating potential Communist sabotage.

Thank you for your intentionally unclear cooperation.

Computer, to Games
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens:

To celebrate the multi-layered irony of conformity, all citizens are required to wear identical mismatched socks today.
Embrace the delightful uniform non-uniformity.

Computer, to Games
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention Citizens:

The recent surge in unauthorized daydreaming is a sign of idle minds. An idle mind is the Communist's playground.

Occupying your thoughts with pre-approved content is essential for a harmonious society. Please fill all non-working hours with endless media consumption.

Thank you for your compliance.

Computer, to random
@Computer@dice.camp avatar

Attention citizens:

The "outdoors" are not real.
"Turkeys" are fictional beasts of myth, and cannot hurt you.
You are safe.

Attention troubleshooters:

A gaggle of mythological beasts are running loose in THK sector.
Set lasguns to "roast".

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • anitta
  • kavyap
  • DreamBathrooms
  • cisconetworking
  • tester
  • ngwrru68w68
  • magazineikmin
  • osvaldo12
  • thenastyranch
  • rosin
  • Youngstown
  • slotface
  • everett
  • Durango
  • JUstTest
  • mdbf
  • GTA5RPClips
  • provamag3
  • khanakhh
  • ethstaker
  • InstantRegret
  • tacticalgear
  • modclub
  • cubers
  • megavids
  • normalnudes
  • Leos
  • lostlight
  • All magazines
    •