@kel@mastodon.online
@kel@mastodon.online avatar

kel

@kel@mastodon.online

Escape Artist. Nowhere Man. Ghost Pirate. 👻 🏴‍☠️

I am disabled and a fell runner!

I build synthesisers!

I cook, bake & ferment from scratch NO VAT;

Suggested Filters, if sensitive: #Food #Beer

No ALT = No Boost

Advocating violence == report & block!

I ask all the questions narcissists hate, I don't mean to, I just have an innate talent for unveiling ulterior motives and a$£hol€s.

Auto-delete ON

#nobridge #nobot

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kel, to random
@kel@mastodon.online avatar

Imagine a group of lovely kind people who are knitters, crocheters, photographers, astronomers, musicians, runners, linguists, cooks, bakers, engineers, technicians, programmers, walkers, jokers, mycophiles, poets, writers, artists, embroiderers, calligraphers, dry stone wallers, graphic designers, game programmers, gardeners, gamers, witches, wizards, broadcasters, queer, trans, straight, seamsters, brewers, survivors, philosophers, etc. etc.

Oh, wait, no need to imagine

...that's you lot 🥰 ♥️

kel, to random
@kel@mastodon.online avatar

I don't usually put work stuff up here, but if anyone is panicking over the wordpress.com (not wordpress self hosted) disaster, I will help you!

DMs open!

kel, to random
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This blue tit had fallen, I nearly stepped on it - eek!! It was literally just out of the nest, I put my hand down and it just jumped on 🥰

I held it next to a branch and it hopped onto the branch 🤩

I love the little birds so much, I like all animals, birds, insects etc, but these little guys, they are just unbelievably sweet and so tough it amazes me how they survive in this world, but they do 🥰

The same bird as previously described but now perched on a branch. It's deep black eye intently taking it all in, and looking at me. It seems super chilled out and happy.

kel, to random
@kel@mastodon.online avatar

Does anyone know any good resources for writing modern, ethical, inclusive contracts between businesses and freelancers working with complex setups that include multiple third party service providers each with a wide variety of license and service level agreements?

It feels like if should be relatively simple, but on adding any detail it quickly cascades into a blur of complexity and fuzzy boundaries.

Thank you!

kel, to random
@kel@mastodon.online avatar

The importance of ALT text!

(Vertical photo please expand)

kel, to random
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Ooohh!!! For sale as a way to give my fund raiser a boost:

Original Roland R-70 Human Rhythm Composer Drum Machine with Manual, Original Packaging & PSU!

Box is a little battered, manual has signs of use, the machine itself is in great condition with just a few signs of use. Needs new battery, but will include a pack of four (I just didn't get round to it yet)

Last one to go on ebay went for £330 + £20 postage.

Open to Offers!

UK preferred, but will ship at cost 👍

Please boost!!

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kel, to random
@kel@mastodon.online avatar

Okay... final call 😀

It's been a fantastic day; plays, donations, compliments - thank you all so much ♥️

All cash will go to a local food hub that provides hot meals to anyone who needs one - no questions asked!

If you don't have £1 to spare, that's cool, but a boost costs nothing - let's see how far this can go and how much Mastodon can raise for hungry people?

Is it too much to ask?

£1 or Boost?

🕊️

https://kelaudio.bandcamp.com/album/keep-one-ear-open-seakels-ep

kel, to random
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kel, to random
@kel@mastodon.online avatar

Finding people here is like finding people in real life.

There isn't a hashtag to click called it's a slow process, full of surprises and sudden unexpected encounters that come from casual curiosity.

I hope it never changes in this regard.

I don't care about numbers, exposure or whatever, I don't want the news, I don't need a group of like minded followers;

I like seeing people expressing themselves in a community of randomness undefinable by any reductionist hashtag!

kel, to random
@kel@mastodon.online avatar
kel, to random
@kel@mastodon.online avatar

Super impressed that the new bank Card from Nationwide is RNIB tried and tested; it has a notch and 6 raised dots on one end of the card so it's easy to know which is the right end to hold while inserting it into the cash machine.

Accessibility build in 👍

kel, to random
@kel@mastodon.online avatar

Christmas is an amplifier:

If you feel good, it will make things feel brilliant!

A good family becomes a wonderful family.

A nice party becomes a fantastic party.

Etc.

Alas, it does the same with the sh!t things too:

Lonely? Christmas makes it the loneliest time of year.

Money struggles - become unbearable at Christmas.

Challenging relationships - get worse!

But... it's over, you survived another one - good work 👍

You're doing really well!

Keep going... you're awesome 🕊️ ♥️

kel, to random
@kel@mastodon.online avatar
kel, to random
@kel@mastodon.online avatar

If anyone is feeling down and can't afford to buy any music today, please get in touch for a free gift 🥰

I made some sales today which is amazing; it is profoundly humbling and always deeply appreciated, but my music is free to anyone who can't afford to pay 💯

Thank you for a lovely day 🥰

Goodnight ❤️

kel, to random
@kel@mastodon.online avatar

Is there anyone to follow who posts on a weekly basis what to do in your garden to turn some of it it from a very wild garden supporting lots of wildlife into a space suitable for producing food?

Northern England, 300m asl.

I love the wildlife and the birds especially, but I also need to turn some of my space into food production and I am an utterly hopeless gardener!

I am looking for hand-holding, accountability, pressure... I mean I'd just like someone to just do it, but ... 😆

kel, to Musicproduction
@kel@mastodon.online avatar

Roland R70 Drum Kit Samples!

FREE!

Or pay what you want... check em out, if you love them buy me a coffee, if you don't, don't!

It's that simple!

Enjoy ♥️

https://ko-fi.com/s/c6d26c8226

kel, to random
@kel@mastodon.online avatar

It's been a while!

kel, to random
@kel@mastodon.online avatar

kel - III - scope

Out now!

Enjoy 😀

https://kelaudio.bandcamp.com/album/scope-2

kel, to random
@kel@mastodon.online avatar

If a toot is a toot - which it is no matter what anyone else says 😉

Then a thread of toots is obviously a tootle 🤷‍♂️

You know, the sign of a great toot is that it's just tootling along 😀

kel, to random
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kel, to random
@kel@mastodon.online avatar
kel, to random
@kel@mastodon.online avatar

I know on there are many artists vying for attention, but apart from the charity drive, I have not had a single sale for my stuff yet this year!

You don't need to buy, no one should be pressuring anyone to buy things, but a BOOST is free and I have the four major releases as pinned posts.

Please would you be so kind and go to my profile and boost all four?

And if you can purchase, know it will be very much appreciated.

Thank you 🙏

🕊️ ♥️ ✊

p.s. I am not kidding:

flockofnazguls, to random
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  • kel,
    @kel@mastodon.online avatar

    @flockofnazguls

    I am a fan of Portlandia! Endless hilarity and excessive quantities of scathing satire == all win!!

    This is one of my favourite sketches!

    Gets me every time 😂

    https://invidious.privacydev.net/watch?v=p2GikVQXvf0

    kel,
    @kel@mastodon.online avatar

    @flockofnazguls

    Hahah yeah!

    One more show!!!! One more show!!!! 😆

    They had a few misses, and I believe they upset some people at one point, but I guess that's always a risk with comedy. Can't win em all! The funniest thing about Portlandia for me was that at the time it was absolutely spot on criticism of where I live too! not sure that is true any more, but it still stands.

    This popped up, history of punk music in 5 minutes lol!

    https://invidious.privacydev.net/watch?v=bB5KyoKtivI

    flockofnazguls, to random
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    deleted_by_author

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  • kel,
    @kel@mastodon.online avatar

    @MatthewKay @flockofnazguls

    I would love to see just a scrap of evidence that any of this ever has any positive effect. Like do climate deniers suddenly have a change of heart, or do big game hunters suddenly think "you know what, you're right I am going to stop this", I want to see the headline "Mass outrage on SM has net positive effect on fossil fuel use" 😂

    I mean no disrespect, but it just seems like a huge circle jerk of achieving absolutely nothing other than riling people up!

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