Had a big videocall at work today and suddenly realized I am avoiding eye contact even in videocalls. Like, I subconsciously avoid looking at people who are looking at the camera, even if they are those who’re talking. I look at those who look away, I look at those who sit too far from the camera to actually see where they’re looking, I look at myself, I look at Slack’s UI, I constantly remind myself to not look over the screen, but can’t help glancing. Anything but looking at those who seemingly look at me. Even though they are not actually here and most time in those group calls it means they are not actually looking at me.
Other #autistic folks, do you find it easier to look people in the eyes in video-calls or do you struggle with it too? @actuallyautistic #neurodivergent #AuDHD
A friend shared this short film by her Autistic daughter, who’s about to start at college. This is her attempt to “capture [my] feelings that [I get] of anxiety or stress when under pressure.”
1 - Think of a thing to post to Mastodon
2 - Pick up phone to post said thing
3 - Get distracted by phone notifications
4 - Read and clear notifications for 5 minutes
5 - Forget what I was doing and just mooch on phone for 15 minutes.
6 - Put phone down
** Some variable amount of time passes. **
7 - Remember what I wanted to post and pick up phone.
8 - Return to step 3. @actuallyadhd #ADHD#AuDHD#Neurospicy
New-to-me instance, so I suppose I should do an #intro again -- and pin it.
Late-realized #ActuallyAutistic#AuDHD#GenX#Enby and more or less lifelong Kansan living once more in the blue bubble of #LFK. In one year I will have lived in my current house as long as I lived anywhere else in my entire life. That is kind of scary to me.
I have no idea what I said as an intro when I joined Mastodon in late 2022. I had just gotten slapped by the book of face because I said I wanted to drive to Texas to punch a Nazi. That'll tell you a lot about who I actually am.
I'm still #Novid because masking is punk as fuck, as is caring about other people in your community -- not just the shiny loud ones who are always talking and saying everything is fine.
It's not.
I believe it's going to be some version of OK, but it's going to be really different, and it might be pretty difficult, and a lot of people are going to be really uncomfortable -- but you probably already know that.
I love reading, learning, sleeping, foraging, unlearning, listening, learning to repair things, and being quiet for long stretches. I grow as much food and medicine as I can on my own small property. I try to be a good steward and give back to the land and the animals.
I am a chicken tender, and they are the joy of my existence. Those goofy birds helped me get through some really rough years recently. When you've got creatures that you have to get up and tend to many times a day, there's a reason to keep your feet on the ground on this earth for a while.
I have two dogs, three cats, and never enough time to do all the learning and reading or even work that I want to do.
I've been in my profession of bodywork for over 30 years and still love it. I'm only able to work part time due to my AuDHD and chronic physical conditions, so my work fits my needs very well.
I'm redheaded, left-handed, short, fat, and existentially angry most of the time, but I am also one of those people that will usually shut up after complaining and try to find a solution.
I'm a #meditator, meditation teacher, certified #yoga teacher, certified listener #poet, am becoming a certified #herbalist, and I like to question everything, especially authority. I have too many #typewriters and only two hands, and never enough time for all the poems that want to be scribbled down or typed out.
I'm a big fan of classic sci-fi, new sci-fi, speculative fiction, memoirs, and #books packed with useful information. I'm on the hunt for an entire set of encyclopedia, as I'm increasing my useful paper book collection. My TV choices tend toward #StarTrek, British comedy, and documentaries about weird cults/religions.
I'm very literal, and my sense of humor is very dry. I cut my teeth on 1970s #Doonesbury, to give you and idea of what I mean.
I am a weird combination of mostly vegan/vegetarian, but I do eat some chicken -- and the eggs my hens produce. So figure that one out if you can. (I can't!)
I love to cuss but I am very, very bad at it.
Some things I love about Mastodon: My Au friends here, all your cat and dog and rat and plant posts, watching monster movies on Sunday nights, my Novid and Covid-cautious friends, my #MLS soccer friends, and the character limit on this new-to-me instance. Woot!
"What frequently underpins the external and internal chaos, according to experts and many ADHDers alike, is a pervasive sense of deep shame and the quiet realisation that their potential in life is not being met."
I am someone who gets migraines and have since I was 8. The reason was never uncovered, but I know migraines are more common among neuroduvergent folks like myself.
My question for you is this:
When you have pain, what do you do to help manage it so your emotional regulation goes out the window?
In short, I can be mean when I am in the midst of migraine.
Fully aware that this sounds like a conspiracy theory, but the #neurodivergent (specifically #AuDHD) movement is so fascinating to witness through an evolutionary lens. We are quite literally experiencing how society comes to terms with an accelerating genetic mutation. Growing evidence points towards #adhd and #autism as differing presentations of the same underlying mutation. Highly co-morbid conditions like #depression, #anxiety, and #ocd could be #cptsd from ongoing social trauma? Wild.
Imagine being the guy (gn) who arbitrarily decided that ADHD and autism must be mutually exclusive and getting the whole posse of psychs to go along with it for decades, only to find that about 75% of people with one also have the other?? So embarrassing 🙈
I halted my attempts to get an Autism/ADHD diagnosis today due to issues that are out of my control.
It really fucking hurts. Someday, hopefully sooner rather than later, but not now.
ADHD is painful in particular because executive dysfunction and distractability especially has been kicking my ass lately and maybe meds can do something about that.
It shouldn't be hard to get evaluated. It shouldn't be a financial burden. There shouldn't be stigma surrounding it.
@actuallyautistic
I’m in the middle of a big move to a small rental & I almost missed Late-Identified AuDHD’s first birthday. ALMOST!
About thirty minutes to midnight I looked at my bookshelf, saw my 1st copy, remembered I forgot to do a cover reveal for the upcoming second edition, and decided to celebrate with a post and a Reese’s egg.
@actuallyautistic@Adhdinos
Late to announce, but Late-Identified AuDHD one years old today AND is getting a title update and a new cover this year. Cover was designed for the second edition by 100Covers.
Really had a nice time at a rubiks cubing event Saturday. But it also utterly burned me out. Way bigger than normal, and a lot of sitting and waiting because naturally they experimented with new procedures in the same 4x larger venue.
Need a deeper darker hole to wallow in this time. Sunday wasn’t enough.
Paper on shared heritage of #ADHD and #ASD. Since we recently discussed this I think you @actuallyautistic and @actuallyadhd might be interested too - haven't read it yet, got it via @sensorystoriesbynicole, a very great account on #AuDHD and other ND stuff on Instagram btw
I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a lifetime of trying to get my shit together. Skills that make me almost completely useless in a capitalist system. But if you let me, I will fold your underwear neatly and organize your sock drawer in a way that only makes sense to me.