smileodonicthys

@smileodonicthys@jorts.horse

Living a High Sodium Lyfestyle

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Popehat, to random

I don't post on here much any more, or monitor it much, so probably better to find me on Bluesky if you need me.

De gustibus etc. No platform is perfect. But I feel more comfortable there, and less like I'm likely to get screamed at for using Latin without a CW or something.

smileodonicthys,

@mattblaze @Popehat @ygalanter @krans @mmasnick @vincent good thing Bluesky isn’t owned by any billionaires then

smileodonicthys, to random

Google searches of a man who absolutely totally did not kill his wife

smileodonicthys, to random

Hello from the Tualatin Wetlands National Wildlife Refuge

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smileodonicthys,

Big mushroom

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smileodonicthys,

I think this is edible but it was on the wildlife refuge so I left it for the wildlife

smileodonicthys,

@PanDaemonium yeah I think so

evan, to random
@evan@cosocial.ca avatar

33 US states have sued Meta for making its software addictive to kids.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/business/meta-lawsuit-children-addictive-1.7006259

smileodonicthys,

@evan jmo but generally these types of rulings affect the little guys a lot stronger than the big guys.

mcc, to random
@mcc@mastodon.social avatar

Consider: People often remark that cats often suddenly stop and stare in strange directions, seemingly looking at nothing at all. What humans don't understand is that the cat is in fact not looking, but listening; the cat has heard something, and is turning its head so its ears are cupped in the direction of the sound.

Implication: If elves were real, they would often as a group swiftly turn their heads to apparently stare at nothing at all, swiveling their ears slightly as they do so

smileodonicthys,

@mcc I’m studying middle earth lore and this is a very helpful poast

Alice, (edited ) to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

I can't show my face on my OnlyFans because I don't want my coworkers to recognize me, but I also can't show my boobs because they've already seen those too.

smileodonicthys,

@Alice maybe you could do feet?

lauren, to random
@lauren@mastodon.laurenweinstein.org avatar

At least that F-35 apparently didn't have any nukes on it. Whenever the U.S. loses a nuke it's fairly embarrassing. And yes, it has happened.

smileodonicthys,

@lauren good thing they make those things hard to accidentally set off, given how often they lose them

rebeccawatson, to random
@rebeccawatson@mstdn.social avatar

“ant season” has started but I’m pleased to report that I am a fucking genius

smileodonicthys,

@rebeccawatson I’ve been doing that for years lol. A glass pie dish works perfectly I’ve found. If your ants are extra determined coat the outside with Vaseline

SirTapTap, (edited ) to random
@SirTapTap@mastodon.social avatar

So much stuff in body horror is just how plants actually work.

Organs falling off and becoming new creatures. Limbs erupting overnight and falling off within days. Bees in your privates.

smileodonicthys,

@SirTapTap self-fertilization sounds fun tho

mcc, to random
@mcc@mastodon.social avatar

Reading the wikipedia entry on Machiavelli and… wait… what

smileodonicthys,

@mcc someone told him not to give up his day job so he didn’t

fMRI_guy, to random

Millennials are killing the killing industry

smileodonicthys,

@peterdrake @fMRI_guy it’s literally this

People who fantasize about killing are making the shift to mass murder likely due to cultural influences as well as the fact it’s a lot harder to get away with stranger-on-stranger murder these days given modern technology and new investigative techniques like forensic genealogy

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

People greatly underestimate the value of libraries in our society. Here's some FREE things you can do at any library:

-Write your greatest enemy an anonymous letter, claiming to have hidden money in a local library book.

-Disguise yourself as a librarian, and offer to help your greatest enemy find the book they seek.

-Murder your greatest enemy in a secluded corner where no witnesses will be present.

-Hide the body behind the shelf of Guy Fieri cookbooks, where it will never be found.

smileodonicthys,

@lowqualityfacts my greatest enemy is myself I don’t think this will work

evacide, to random
@evacide@hachyderm.io avatar

When I give a talk about stalkerware, two things usually happen:

One person (usually a woman) walks up to me and tells me about the stalkerware/keylogger/physical tracker a partner used to stalk them.

Another person (usually a man) tells that they didn't know about this stuff and they can't even imagine the sort of person that would use it.

smileodonicthys,

@evacide I follow some car mechanics on YouTube and it’s absolutely terrifying how frequently women have tracking devices placed on their cars by abusive current or ex partners are.

GrimmReality, to random
@GrimmReality@beige.party avatar

Oh no, guys, some foodie knob just informed me it is BAD LUCK to break dry pasta to fit it into a smaller pot, and, guess what, jerks I'VE BEEN BREAKING DRY PASTA MY WHOLE LIFE AND wait a minute.

Yup ok.

God damn it.

smileodonicthys,

@GrimmReality fyi I get long pasta into fairly small pots by letting one end soak in the boiling water for a minute to soften then poking them down. Doesn’t affect cooking time. But imo the important thing is whether you like the food you made or not

Chrishallbeck, to random
@Chrishallbeck@mastodon.social avatar

I like to remind myself that I'm not a kid anymore by doing adult things like eating cake for breakfast or hurting my knee while sleeping.

smileodonicthys,

@Chrishallbeck ah yes the hood ol “threw my back out getting out of bed”

molly0xfff, to random
@molly0xfff@hachyderm.io avatar

criminal mastermind

smileodonicthys,

@molly0xfff there have been multiple recent murders where you could basically see the timeline of the crime based on the killers’ google searches. It would be funny if it wasn’t so tragic

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I saw someone argue that shitposters can't succeed on Mastodon because their posts won't go viral due to the lack of an algorithm.

As a counterpoint to their belief I would like to introduce exhibit A, whatever the hell this account is.

smileodonicthys,

@lowqualityfacts mastodon is definitely better for shitposting than Threads. The average Shit poster would be banned in hours for telling a terf to suck their weenus or something

ryanhoulihan, to random
@ryanhoulihan@mastodon.social avatar

deleted_by_author

    •
    smileodonicthys,

    @ryanhoulihan I heard a story once that she & Freddy Mercury were friends one time he dressed her up as a twink and snuck her into a gay nightclub. No idea if it’s true but I Want to Believe

    donni, to random
    @donni@mastodon.social avatar

    Yes, I drink hot coffee in August and sweat angrily! There is no solution to this problem

    smileodonicthys,

    @donni sweat cools you down so hot drinks in summer are actually cooling.

    emilyherring, to random

    I promise nothing can prepare you for this passage from The Ends of the World by Peter Brannen

    "The pressure of the atmosphere in front of the asteroid started excavating the crater before it even got there," Rebolledo said. "Then when the meteorite touched ground zero, it was totally intact. It was so massive that the atmosphere didn't even make a scratch on it." Unlike the typical Hollywood CGI depictions of asteroid impacts, where an extraterrestrial charcoal briquette gently smolders across the sky, in the Yucatan it would have been a pleasant day one second and the world was already over by the next. As the asteroid collided with the earth, in the sky above it where there should have been air, the rock had punched a hole of outer space vacuum in the atmosphere. As the heavens rushed in to close this hole, enormous volumes of earth were expelled into orbit and beyond — all within a second or two of impact. "So there's probably little bits of dinosaur bone up on the moon," I asked. "Yeah, probably."

    smileodonicthys,

    @emilyherring the shockwave killed dinosaurs at least as far north as North Dakota https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tanis_(fossil_site)

    smileodonicthys, to random

    Ok dumb question, where do I see my follow requests on @ivory ? I know several people sent requests but I can’t find them

    Neat_hot, to random
    @Neat_hot@beige.party avatar

    What do people who only listen to music on vinyl do in the car?

    smileodonicthys,

    @Neat_hot apparently they were used before tape-decks took over. dunno if popular or not but there’s a bunch of pictures of celebrities using them. I imagine going over bumps etc might be problematic, seems like a good way to scratch up a record but I’m no expert

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