rmaclean, to infosec
@rmaclean@twit.social avatar

I saw a car with the licence plate SHA135 and thought that's a terrible idea for a car. You really need SHA256 to avoid a collision 😂

mdmrn, to infosec
@mdmrn@urusai.social avatar

They say my password now needs to contain at least one special character.

I chose Akuma from Street Fighter, but they said it still wasn't right.

Guess I'll figure it out later.

mdmrn, to music
@mdmrn@urusai.social avatar

Fall Out Boy not subtly referencing a previous song in a new ballad challenge.

Difficulty: Nigh Impossible

redcrew, to random
@redcrew@mstdn.social avatar

Why do beets always win?

They are un-beet-able.

BeAware, to twitter
@BeAware@social.beaware.live avatar

I'm kinda looking forward to the day when Twitter's userbase dwindles enough so that the few dumbos that are still there, can all fit into a room and jerk each other off in private.

Having them do it out in the open is just annoying... :kek:

#X

redcrew, to random
@redcrew@mstdn.social avatar

I finally decided to sell my vacuum cleaner.

All it was doing was gathering dust.

Jester, to Jokes
@Jester@mstdn.social avatar

The things that occur on the shingle
of the beaches surrounding old Dingle
can only be said
in the bed of the wed
'cause they'd tingle the single to mingle

mdmrn, to random
@mdmrn@urusai.social avatar

Assert dominance in the office by filling up your water bottle at the filling station, then pouring it out and refilling it again while staring into the eyes of the thirsty people waiting in line for you to finsh.

lzg, to random
@lzg@mastodon.social avatar

deleted_by_author

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  • Euthydemus,
    @Euthydemus@mastodon.social avatar

    @lzg Sorry, too busy to explain -- I'm registering the domain for my new fintech startup, Squipe! (, but 🤑 or maybe just 🤢 )

    lzg, to random
    @lzg@mastodon.social avatar

    deleted_by_author

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  • Euthydemus,
    @Euthydemus@mastodon.social avatar

    @lzg This is the internet -- we do the ePocalypse® here. 💥 (, but ☠️)

    vingtroiseize, to retrogaming
    @vingtroiseize@mastodon.world avatar

    Since 1985, he is still waiting for the Multitasking Update for his retrocomputer! 😱

    😋

    laidbackdm, to DnD
    @laidbackdm@dice.camp avatar

    It was not long after the party formed that they learned they were all extremely photogenic. This made posing for selfies easier, but took away somewhat from the dungeon crawling.

    Check https://stevestillstanding.com for free maps, reviews, videos and other cool fantasy ttrpg content! And you can also find for FREE there!

    Jester, to Jokes
    @Jester@mstdn.social avatar

    There was a young lady from Bude
    Who had scenes of old England tattooed
    Her Boyfriend, one day
    went the whole Penine Way
    With Cheddar Gorge still to be viewed

    SuitedUpDev, to random
    @SuitedUpDev@mastodon.online avatar

    Korean snacks not found? 🤔

    Celrunia_QT, to Meme
    @Celrunia_QT@net4sw.com avatar

    Oh, right, I forgot, I edited my meme image for the breakcore mix.

    ai6yr, to Climbing

    Animal Hour -- kitty shows how climbing walls are done! https://mas.to/@epiceneVivant/112101739909319748

    ai6yr,

    Q: what do cats do when they want to think about their next climbing move?

    A: They "paws"!

    ai6yr,

    Q: What do cats say when they fall off a climbing wall and hurt themselves?

    A. Me-OW!

    mdmrn, to Jokes
    @mdmrn@urusai.social avatar

    Me: I have a new idea about Daylight Saving Time and time zones...
    Them: Okay
    Me: That will make literally everyone unhappy...
    Them: Oh no
    Me: No DST, but we break the whole globe into 10 minute time zones instead of hour long ones
    Them: ...
    Me: ...
    Them: Why are you the way that you are?

    #DST #TimeZones #DaylightSavingTime #Joke #Jokes #Silly

    thevglibrary, to InitialD
    @thevglibrary@mstdn.social avatar

    It's 1982, and PAC-MAN fans are eating up America's favorite new video game sensation!

    Now you can chuckle and chew at the same time with 96 Pac-filled pages of biting humor in:

    PAC-MANIA! The Official Pac-Man Joke Book 📚

    Just open wide and laugh!

    👉 https://www.thevideogamelibrary.org/book/pac-mania-the-official-pac-man-joke-book

    @bookstodon

    mdmrn, to random
    @mdmrn@urusai.social avatar

    You'd think after being forced to suffer through Daylight Saving Time for over 40 years nowI'd have saved enough Daylight to get like a bonus day or something.

    But no...

    "That's not how it works" they tell me.

    custardfist, to webcomics
    @custardfist@mastodon.social avatar
    redcrew, to random
    @redcrew@mstdn.social avatar

    What candy do you eat on the playground?

    Recess pieces.

    membook, to Meme
    @membook@rigcz.club avatar
    custardfist, to webcomics
    @custardfist@mastodon.social avatar
    mdmrn, to random

    When they claim to be in their "Villain Era," but they're not even plotting world domination with an elaborate plan involving sharks with laser beams on their heads.

    I mean, come on.

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