I have heard about folks getting along famously, but why not folks getting along infamously? What if soon after meeting they go on a crime spree akin to Thelma and Louise...
@lzg Those bespoke physicists are just miffed that Big Physics is pushing the 3 body problem to sell us more of its mass-produced Theory and crowding out their artisanal product from the marketplace of ideas. (#joke)
Good morning valued customers! I'm Ember, admin of transfem.social. I'm here today with a big announcement regarding the exciting new future of our platform.
Beginning today (April 1, 2024), transfem.social and the transfem.org network have partnered with Microsoft to build a new generation of content-centric social media! Our new, patented Microsoft Sharkey (TM) 11 update brings a variety of cutting-edge features to maximize engagement and expand your commercial reach.
Today's update brings you many new features, including:
Sponsored posts - see the latest and greatest right at the top of your home feed.
New recommended timeline - find the most relevant posts using AI intelligence.
Enhanced privacy settings - choose between "share data" and "ask again later" for all tracking and advertisements.
Integration with other Microsoft products - connect to Outlook (TM) and GitHub (TM) to see updates right in your notification sidebar.
Sign in with Microsoft - all legacy Sharkey accounts have been upgraded to a free Microsoft account.
XBOX Gaming support - Clicker, Bubble Game, and Mahjong have been replaced with new ad-funded versions. All existing users will receive 10 free pulls in each game!
Clippy sub-module - all posts are verified for correct and format English grammar. Alternate language packs can be purchased for an additional fee.
Enhanced search - Use Bing to instantly search the entire fediverse - including private posts! Don't know what you want? That's OK, Cortana is here to bring you Microsoft's recommended results for any search query.
Cloud Drive - Microsoft Sharkey's (TM) drive has been fully overhauled. All uploaded media is now backed by Microsoft OneDrive, including automated AI analysis to improve your Sharkey experience.
Of course, I can't forget the single best feature of Microsoft Sharkey (TM) 11 - a brand new re-imagined Ai-chan! In addition to a whole new look, Ai is now backed by Cortana and Copilot. Your new posting companion can help you read, write, and edit any text or media upload. All you have to do is ask - Ai is always listening for her catchphrase "hey Ai!". Say goodbye to typing, and say hello to a new generation of voice-assistant fedi!
As a part of this new era, Sharkey will transition to a source-available model. Instances of less than 100 users can obtain a free license, while larger organizations should contact sales to request a quote. This new model will alleviate funding concerns and ensure that Sharkey is financially prepared for a web 3 future.
Thank you all for your trust and patience as we move forward into a greater future. I hope you enjoy it!
Did you know that before the release of the film Alien (1979) starring Sigourney Weaver...
...people had to weave their own sigourneys by hand?