PaulaToThePeople

PaulaToThePeople, 8 months ago to Depression

I'm currently getting out of a heavy #depression and I'm feeling much better lately, but today I still feel, like I don't want to live anymore.

I can't say that my depression is coming back or that I'm super sad again or anything. I just logically see no reason for me to live anymore:

• I have no purpose in live: For 4 years now I tried to make Fridays For Future my purpose in life, but I failed miserably.
• I have nothing that makes me happy
• I have essentially no friends
• The people I like the most want nothing or next to nothing to do with me. No offense to those people that are friendly with me - you're cool, you're just not that to me.
• I live off my father's pocket and he won't be able to afford me very much longer. I'm all out of money and the state still doesn't pay me anything.
• I don't think it will ever get better.

I really want to end this.

#suicide #NotJustSad #suicidal

PaulaToThePeople, 8 months ago to random

Is there any #FridaysForFuture group that one can join remotely, but without having to use proprietary, predatory software?

I think I'm about to leave FFF Vienna & Austria once again, but I can't really imagine a life without FFF anymore.

PaulaToThePeople, 8 months ago to books

Any #BookRecommendations for me?

I haven't read a lot of #books in my life. It was always hard for me to get the motivation, but the last 4 years, because of my depression, it was often impossible.
But now I'm able to read again, and want to read up on some important issues.

Here are some of my favorite books I read so far:

📖 #Platonic by #MarisaGFranco.
It's a great book about the importance of #friendship and how to get and maintain one. It helped me learn a lot about myself and is a big part of how I started getting out of my depression.

📖 #Ace by #AngelaChen.
A book about #asexuality that everybody should read, not just ace people.

📖 "The time to act is now" (original title: #HandelnStattHoffen) by @carorackete
A moving book about #ClimateJustice and lots of related issues.

Right now I'm reading:

📖 "War das jetzt rassistisch? 22 Antirassismus-Tipps für den Alltag" written by the people behind the #BlackVoices referendum.
A book about #racism in Austria and Germany.

Some books I have at home, that are just waiting for me to read are:

📖 #ClimateBook by @gretathunberg
📖 #ThreeAgesOfWater by @petergleick
📖 "This Changes Everything: Capitalism vs. the Climate" by #NaomiKlein
📚 and many more (most on climate justice & racism, some on feminism & socialism).

I'd love to read other works like "Ace" but themed around other #queer identities.
Another issue that interest me is e.g. #ableism (especially, but not limited to psychological disability).
But feel free to also recommend great books on other issues.
I can only read German and English, so please keep that in mind.

Thanks. 🙂

PaulaToThePeople, 8 months ago to random

I want to follow more #BIPoC voices on the Fediverse.
There is no guarantee of course, but ideally I'd like to hear about things concerning BIPoC from them first and not, as was the case with TheBadSpace, hear the "other side" first.

I still have a lot of criticism about TheBadSpace, but it was not good to pile on right then and there. Had I known about all that racist harassment at the time, I would have kept my mouth shut.

Sorry.

So who should I follow?
Feel free to send me PMs or something. No publicly @'ing people who did not consent to that please.

PaulaToThePeople, 8 months ago to twitter

I often think "I hate smokers" and almost say it out loud sometimes. But I know some former and currents smokers and I don't hate them. More accurate would be "I hate it, when people smoke".

I know people who are still on #Twitter /X and they are not fascists. I still think it's accurate to say they are complicit. But not that they are fascists.

I'm writing this post on my way back after the global climate strike has ended. People are coming the other way going about their business. They don't all look like assholes who want fossil capitalism to win.

I don't know what point I'm trying to make. Something like " hate the game, not the players" maybe?

PaulaToThePeople, 8 months ago to random

Am I really the only one who thinks the lack of information on #TheBadSpace is dangerous?

There are a lot of accusations against https://thebad.space that have no merit, because the issues behind them have been fixed. I too have fallen for those accusations, but that's not why I'm criticizing the site now.

On https://thebad.space/about you find no information about the site, only how to use it, which means importing the csv blocklist.

There is a little more information on https://tweaking.thebad.space/about but I don't see a way to find that site.

So basically this is a blocklist that is provided without telling the users how it is compiled, how to get off it or that you should do your own research before defederating from these sites (which I think we can all agree would be reasonable).

In Austria and Germany we have laws that say you have to provide contact information on your website. This makes a lot of sense to me.
If there is something wrong with a website and there is no contact info, how are you supposed to address the issue?

Just because this is a website about the Fediverse and the person who created the website posts about it on their profile, doesn't mean everybody who happens upon the website follows that person on the Fediverse and therefore already has all the information that they need.

The lack of understanding of this issue frustrates me a lot.

PaulaToThePeople, 8 months ago to random

After all that drama around #TheBadSpace I just looked through the FediBlock hashtag.

Admins I thought I could trust are blocking people who speak out against fascism on Twitter/X. BiPoC and trans folks are openly beefing and rage-FediBlock-ing each other.

Nobody is impartial.
I don't trust any public blocklist anymore.
And by that logic I can't trust my own public blocklist anymore.
So I shut it down.

https://joinfediverse.wiki/FediBlock

#FediBlockMeta

PaulaToThePeople, 8 months ago to random

Don't listen to one-sided snowflace cuck media!
You should always listen to both sides of the story.

That the climate crisis is human made.
And that the climate crisis is inhumane.

That there are extreme heatwaves.
And that there are record floods.

That injustices are caused by the global north.
And that injustices are affecting the global south.

That nazis are evil.
And that fascists are too.

For the sake of balance!

PaulaToThePeople, 8 months ago to climate

When the last parking space is buried under a landslide, the last garage is flooded and the last road is blocked because of storms you will notice, that even without a speeding limit you can't drive away from the climate crisis.

#proverb #ClimateCrisis

PaulaToThePeople, 8 months ago to Depression

If you followed my mh posts lately you will have noticed, that I'm doing a lot better than just a few weeks ago.

I'm not over my depression yet, but I'm getting there - and oh how that sucks!
I've identified with #depression, pain, loss and fear for 4 years now.
I'm partially over that now, but objectively my life is no better for it.
Except now its also boring!

I wish I had friends that were happy for me and celebrated my success.
I wish I had someone to love and do everything better with them according to what I've learned.
I wish I had a meaning in life - until now it was to get rid of my depression.
I wish I had things that actually made me happy, instead of just not being sad.

What good is it to not be depressed if you're still lonely, miserable and meaningless?

I just wish I felt something, so I would feel alive.

#MentalHealth

PaulaToThePeople, 9 months ago to random

Layoffs should always start at the top.

PaulaToThePeople, 9 months ago to climate

Just an FYI: If you blame individuals (which are not #billionaires) on the #ClimateCrisis I will ask you to leave the #ClimateJustice instances. We don't do this here.

Don't get me wrong: It's good if individuals do "their part" in tackling the climate crisis, by changing their habits and lifestyles, but blaming them, when its clearly the #capitalist system's fault is just wrong.

Be #vegan, consume sustainably, ride your #bike, don't fly.
There are many good reasons to do so, e.g.:
👉 it's the right thing to do
👉 it's healthy
👉 you're a role-model for others
👉 if many people do this, it slightly changes how companies act.
👉 it fosters your awareness for the issues

But also be aware that its a droplet on a hot stone. Non-wealthy individuals won't fix the climate with their daily choices. We have to demand action by the big players.
And I don't mean blame China!
All of us need to demand radical climate action by our governments.

So please:
✊ #protest
✊ #strike
✊ #unionize
✊ #block
✊ #sabotage peacefully

We can do this together! I know we can.

#ConsumerBlaming is #VictimShaming

PaulaToThePeople, 9 months ago to trustandsafety

Hey everybody,
Since I'm out of money and unable to work properly I need to find a way to make money with what I can do - what I do anyway. That is Fediverse-moderation or -content creation.
Are you aware of any instances looking for payed moderators or a company or whatever looking for someone to be responsible for their Fediverse presence?

I have experience with both.
I'm moderating instances since February 2020 and moderated in the Fairphone forum before. And I'm posting on the Fediverse since 2018 and have 6.7k followers.

I can only work remotely from home (Vienna, Austria) and I don't do Zoom or Google Hangouts or any other corporate crap for team meetings.

Please boost so I can find a job. :boost:
Thanks! ❤️

#job #FediHire #JobHunt #JobSearch #moderation #FediJob #FollowerPower #AskFedi

PaulaToThePeople, 9 months ago to random

I was on a camping trip last weekend and I didn't get too attached to anyone there, I didn't feel too left out while I was there and I don't feel too lonely now.

I didn't approach anyone myself, but I showed myself vulnerable, but not too much and I might have found someone I could be friends with in the future.

#3GoodThings, more actually. 🙂

PaulaToThePeople, 9 months ago to random

☀️ A 3 day weather forecast makes sense.
☁️ A 40 day weather forecast makes no sense.
:earth: A 40 year climate forecast makes sense - and makes you fall into a depression.

PaulaToThePeople, 9 months ago to mastodon

Searching for a federated communications software with closed groups.

Hey,
I just talked to an activist friend and he told me about the struggles to find the right communications software for his activist group.
He said that no software is really end to end encrypted for large group chats and calls. (Is that true?)

So he is searching for something instead where the metadata is hidden and which is federated.
He was asking me if #Mastodon was the right thing, but Mastodon doesn't have groups yet. (When?)

So I suggested #Lemmy, but Lemmy doesn't have hidden/closed communities, right?

So what else is there?

#AskFedi #FollowerPower #Question #Fediverse #federated #encryption #MetaData #help

PaulaToThePeople, 9 months ago to random

The more I learn about different things the more I realize that nothing is distributed fairly.

not wealth
not might
not goods
not impacts of the climate crisis
not physical health
not mental health
not friends
not love

We constantly have to fight for equality and fairness. Don't give up ✊

PaulaToThePeople, 9 months ago to random

#LichenSubscribe

PaulaToThePeople, 9 months ago to Bloomscrolling

A painted lady (Vanessa cardui).

According to Wikipedia it is the most widespread #butterfly species. I can't believe that that is not the cabbage white though.

#ButterFlying #BloomScrolling

PaulaToThePeople, 9 months ago to fediverse

:fedi: Since I don't do enough here yet ( 😉 ) I'm now part of the communications team of :funkwhale: @funkwhale!

For those who don't know: #Funkwhale is part of the Fediverse and an awesome platform for sharing :cc_cc: freely licensed music and other audio.

I once hosted a Funkwhale instance for climate justice podcasts and stuff, but shortly after the :fff: FridaysForFuture podcast I was publishing there stopped making new episodes and since nobody else seemed to be interested in publishing on my instance I canceled it.
Some of the episodes of the fff podcast are still on open.audio: https://open.audio/channels/FutureOnAir/ (it's in German).

PaulaToThePeople, 9 months ago to random

Behold the Stuxkat3r!

#ProfilePicMashup #Stuxkat3r
@stux @eichkat3r

PaulaToThePeople, 9 months ago to random German

#Bilderrätsel ala @empathroet

Altertümliche Flasche mit etwas, das wie Medizin aussieht
Verkehrsschild das eine laufende Person zeigt durchgestrichen.