Lana

Lana, 2 months ago to random

Let's make a list of awesome women to follow for #internationalwomensday .

Leave your suggestions and I'll add them here.

I'll start things off with

@lisa
@Stoned_Deva_
@GottaLaff
@Alice
@RickiTarr
@rooster

Lana, 2 months ago to random

Every single elder millennial who was online between 2000-2008 has a phrase from Homestar Runner that will activate them like the Manchurian Candidate and make them spout absolute gibberish for 40 seconds

Lana, 11 days ago to random

What Your Piano Says About You: A Thread

1/🧵

You don't play the piano and you don't know anyone who does. What you do have is money. Lots of it. You are either a doctor or a lawyer by profession. The piano is likely placed in a prominent location in your expansive house, such as tucked under the stairs, where the sound can be muffled, or next to a bay window, where it can echo weirdly off the glass. The lid of your grand piano is always closed. There are photographs of you and your wife and kids arranged tastefully on the top and a soft accent lamp on the left hand side of the music desk which absolutely will not illuminate any part of the music adequately.

Lana, 3 months ago to random

Extremely cool how we keep doing pilot programs that show giving people a Universal Basic Income INCREASES employment and INCREASES wages from paid work. And instead of doing anything about it like scaling it up to more people we just do more pilot programs.

Lana, 24 days ago to random

Let me explain this real slow.

1. I borrow $100 from you today.
2. I pay you $10 every day for a year.
3. I have paid you back $3,650
4. I still owe you $90 somehow.
5. You then "forgive" the $90 debt.

In this scenario, absolutely nobody is paying anybody $90. Nobody is being stiffed $90. Nobody is being forced to pay someone else's $90 debt. Absolutely nobody is "getting a $90 handout for free".

What's happening is you have been paid back your original $100 and then profited a mere $3,550 on top of that and we're saying that's enough profit.

This post is about student loan forgiveness.

Lana, 4 months ago to random

Enjoying jazz is easy. Just memorize the name of every jazz artist who ever lived, their record labels, every person they've ever played with on stage or collaborated with, and a bunch of related statistics about how long each solo is on every recording, every key they played in, how old they were when they died, how many albums they made, how many bootleg records exist and when they were recorded and the name of every jazz club where every artist ever played even a single note.

Lana, 3 months ago to random

Adults should be allowed to introduce ourselves to strangers like 5-year-olds do.

"Hi, I'm Lana. I'm 46 and a half. Do you have any friends? I like coffee and late-19th century Parisian classical music. You are really bald."

Lana, 2 months ago to random

Dear New York Times et al,

He was never a successful businessman.

1. He inherited 400 million dollars and turned that into zero dollars.
2. He went bankrupt 7 times.
3. Some of those bankruptcies were casinos, literally a licence to print money which he couldn't manage.
4. He conned kids with cancer out of money once. That's why he can't run a charity anymore.
5. The following business ventures no longer exist or are insolvent:
   a. Trump Steaks
   b. Trump University
   c. Trump Mortgage
   d. Trump Vodka
   e. Trump: The Game
   f. Trump Ice
   g. GoTrump.com
   h. Trump Magazine
   i. The New Jersey Generals
   j. Trump Airlines
   k. Trump Entertainment Resorts (filed for bankruptcy FOUR TIMES)
   l. Trump Tower Tampa
   m. Trump Taj Mahal
   n. The Trump Plaza
   o. Trump Castle
   p. Plaza Hotel
   q. Trump Media and Technology Group
   r. Truth Social
   s. Trump Shuttle, Inc
   t. Trump Fire
   u. Trump Power
   v. Trump's American Pale Ale
   w. Trump Marina
   x. Trump Casino, Indiana
   y. Trump Style
   z. Trump World Magazine
   aa. Trumpnet, LLC
   ab. Trump Entrepreneur Initiative
   ac. Trump Fragrances
   ad. Empire by Trump
   ae. Trump Mattress
   af. Tour de Trump
   ag. Trump Network
   ah. Trumped!
   ai. Trump Menswear
   aj. Trump Home
   ak. Success by Trump
   al. Trump Hotel Bedding Line
   am. Donald J. Trump Eyeglasses
   an. Donald Trump Regency Lighting
   ao. Select by Trump Coffee
6. Of the 16 companies that were manufacturing Trump-branded products in 2015, only 2 remain in business less than 10 years later. Neither of those companies are American. One is located in Panama and the other is located in Turkey.

Stop saying "successful businessman". My little company founded in 2014 has been in business longer, employs more people, and makes more income than 99% of his ventures. The difference between him and me is access to capital, which means he gets unlimited bites at the apple, and I get just this one if I'm lucky.

Signed,
a small business owner in Washington

Lana, 14 days ago to random

Anyone arguing in favor of arming school teachers needs to first explain to me where in the budget you're going to find the money to buy 27 Glocks when you cheapskates won't even buy us printer toner.

Lana, 9 days ago to random

The back fell off. Some of them are made so the back doesn't fall off at all.

Lana, 2 months ago to random

SMALL PUDDLE: exists
CYBERTRUCK: drowning cow noises

video/mp4

Lana, 3 months ago to random

What animal could you beat in a fight?

Lana, 2 months ago to random

The biggest scam that my parents' generation taught me is that one's credit score is a measure of how good you are at paying off debt.

It's actually a measure of how good you are at <having> debt.

Lana, 4 months ago to random

What's a song that you have heard ENOUGH?

I don't mean a song you hate. I don't mean a song that's overplayed and now you're sick of it. I mean a song you actively enjoy, and you have heard it the right number of times and anything more would be overkill.

Lana, 2 months ago to random

For the last time:

Abyss = for staring into
Void = for screaming into

Please stop screaming into the abyss we are not insured for that

Lana, 2 months ago to random

Albert Einstein’s first wife Mileva (Mitza) Marić was also a brilliant physicist. They met at the Polytechnic Institute of Zurich, where she had fought for special permissions to attend and where she received higher marks than Albert. Mitza put in as much if not more work on their theories but wasn’t credited because Albert told her their works wouldn’t get published with a woman’s name on them. Many of his lecture notes are in Mitza’s handwriting, and Albert was once heard at a party saying, “I need my wife, she helps solve all of my mathematical problems.” 80% of Einstein’s famous works were published during this marriage, referred to as his “magic years.” Those magic years ended abruptly after they divorced due to his infidelity and abandonment.

Happy #womenshistorymonth

Lana, 2 months ago to random

Un-hyperbole a famous book title. I'll start.

The Mid Gatsby

#MastodonGames #JohnMastodon

Lana, 3 months ago to random

I'm a GenX boss. Of COURSE I'm going to ask you for the name of your tattoo artist.

Keep it going

Lana, 1 month ago to random

Ah yes the extravagant spending tend of [checks notes] not starving to death

Lana, 4 months ago to random

I think it's appropriate that Emily Compagno did the Vulcan hand salute backwards because "live briefly and suffer" is a spot on accurate description of the GOP party platform.

Lana, 2 months ago to random

Red delicious is the worst apple and yes I am willing to die on this hill.

Lana, 3 months ago to random

It's hard to understand, but I have a fear of over-engineered buildings. It's a complex complex complex complex.

Lana, 1 month ago to random

Livetooting my experiment:

Waving happily to literally every person I meet or walk past on the streets of Seattle

#1 Waved hi to the postman. Got a smile and a one-finger salute.

Lana, 15 days ago to random

RFK Jr has literal brainworms. Reality has officially jumped the shark.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/08/us/rfk-jr-brain-health-memory-loss.html

Lana, 3 months ago to random

The way articles like this whitewash anti-trans bigots while at the same time casting every single actual trans person as some kind of deranged "activist" is absolutely infuriating.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/02/opinion/transgender-children-gender-dysphoria.html