@lowqualityfacts
🥥 What's the pay like for "professional agitators"?
Should those with heavy college loan debt be considering a career in agitation?
Are any official certifications available to professional agitators?
Must one attend college to become a professional agitator, or are there good online courses available?
Mr Facts, Eye have so many questions. 🥥 #ProfessionalAgitators, #StudentProtests, #TuckersBalls
Here's Rupert Murdoch getting his usual fawning society-page coverage describing him as an "incorrigible romantic," rather than as "One of the most evil men alive, up to his neck in blood, responsible for the corrosion of democracies worldwide and the spread of medical misinformation that has killed millions." https://ca.style.yahoo.com/news/rupert-murdoch-marries-fifth-wife-121924735.html
I’m not sure where I’ll be watching election coverage right now but it sure as fuck won’t be anywhere foolish enough to have Ronna McDaniel on as a commenter or analyst or whatever they’re going to call it.
Seriously, what the fuck? Why do the major news organizations hate truthful information and honest reporting so much?
@stux
🥥 Epic battle of the Titans, Stux.
Now if only there was that much suspense in all these comic book super hero movies nowadays.
Thank YOU for making my 420 Caturday extra special. 🥥 #Caturday, #Heroes, #Catstodon, #Catsiverse, #TuckersBalls
@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Eye have always found your posts edifying and entertaining, Mr Facts.
But NOW you have given me the thing that has been lacking in my life: A clear career goal.
Eye am hereby announcing on YOUR Mastodon thread that henceforth Eye am going to be a Platyparty Entertainer.
Eye have finally found my place in the world!
Thank YOU! Eye finally feel like Eye belong!🥥 #Platipus, #PlatyParty, #PartyEntertainer, #LowQualityFacts, #TuckersBalls
The Kendrick Lamar and Drake feud explained: People who don't listen to rap are amazed to learn that Kendrick Lamar, one of the most critically acclaimed lyricists in music history, is able to write better diss tracks than Drake, the human embodiment of a JCPenney commercial.
Happy Met Gala Monday everyone. It's that time of year when celebrities show up to the red carpet dressed as a bedazzled taco, and brave souls take to the internet to boldly declare "Personally I would never dress like a bedazzled taco".
@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Sorry, Mr Facts, bedazzled taco happens to be MY look.
Eye'll thank you to consider the absolute minefield that is fashion before you post any more low quality fashion facts. 🥥 #Fashion, #LowQualityFacts, #TuckersBalls
🥥 "But Biden is old," is the "But Her Emails," of the 2024 election.
It's a made-up talking point about a non-issue that's supposed to make us ignore damning facts about his unacceptable opponent.
Pleez don't be sucked in by the ill-intentioned propaganda. 🥥 #PresidentBiden, #ButHerEmails, #2024Election, #Propaganda, #TuckersBalls
🥥 Well, Eye've been on this Mastodon part of the Fediverse for about a year and a week now and it's spoiled me.
Eye can't rustle up an once of interest in any other social medium.
Eye AM still looking to find anti-social media, though. 🥥 #Fediverse, #Fediversary, #Mastodon, #SocialMedia, #TuckersBalls
🥥 Call for venture capital!
Eye'm starting a gourmet food company that will fill the growing demand for artisanal rocks and pizza-topping glue.
Before you ask, yes, there WILL be a significant role for AI in company operations.
Interested individuals are encouraged to respond with money offers in the comments below. 🥥 #AI, #VentureCapital, #EatingRocks, #PizzaToppingGlue, #GourmetFoods, #Capitalism, #TuckersBalls
@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Seriously, Mr Facts, "Finnegan's Wake''s the book James Joyce wrote by throwing darts.
"Portrait of the Artist As A Young Man," is actually an engaging read.
After "The Dubliners," an embittered Joyce turned his back on any attempt at readability, retaliating for having been given 2 first names, one of which was a woman's.
He could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes. 🥥 #JamesJoyce, #LowQualityFacts, #TuckersBalls
It is estimated that during the Roman Empire 20% to 30% of Italy's population were slaves. For the empire as a whole that share was between 10% and 15%.
In these times, even modest Roman households might expect to own two or three slaves.
🥥 Mastodon engagement tip #2:
TIL, accidentally, that posting a toot about Capybaras will get you massive -- within reason -- interaction on the Fediverse.
A survey with an admittedly small sample indicates that Capybaras are the decentralized version of eyeball cocaine that dogs and cats are on corporate social media. 🥥 #SocialMedia, #Engagement, #Mastodon, #Capybaras, #TuckersBalls